Break

(Story 1) Teenage "Love" Story

"You know, it's just like a funeral to say 'goodbye' again... for one last time."

 -Erik Jonasson Like a Funeral

I would like to think that there's someone out there for everyone; that there's a guy for every lonely girl out there. Slowly, I begin to think that maybe that's untrue. Maybe some of us are meant to be single forever no matter how desperately we have been praying to whatever Gods we think may assist us in finding a guy. I don't know if I did something to piss God off, but so far my luck with guys has been nonexistent. I'm 22 years old and still one lonely son of a...

Anyways.

I remember when I was 14 years old, I dated this one guy named Andy. I had been dating him for two weeks and I was convinced by that time we were in love. Hell, maybe we were- I'll never know. He was 15 at the time and he was so respectful and kind and... he was the ideal guy. I had dated guys prior to Andy, and none were as responsible and caring as he was.

So 3 weeks comes to an end and we decide it would be a good idea to "seal the deal." When you're a teenager and you date someone you think you're in love with, you think you both will be together forever. I was his first girlfriend, first kiss, first girl he'd held hands with. I was a virgin and so was he. We both wanted to have sex- but not with just anyone. We wanted to share that experience with each other. So we sat on his bed, side by side, and talked about it. We had come to the decision that we were both ready. He grabs a condom, and we leave his house.

Andy and I walked down the street to where his parents kept their limo that they had for work, and we got inside. We sat inside the limo on opposite ends because we were honestly terrified. This wasn't just something to do to get it over with-for either of us. After our nerves calmed a little, we began to make out. One thing lead to another and... you know how that goes. We did the do, and then once it was over we walked back to his house, went up to his room, sat next to each other on the bed, and started cracking up. We hugged, laughed, and then took a nap together.

That day, my life was changed. I don't want to make it seem bigger to you than you think it is. But for Andy and I, that's something we will never forget... or at least I won't. He and I stayed together for a month and a half after that. I was the one to break it off, and I felt stupid for that. My reason was because I loved him too much. My life was a mess and he was going places. He was going to be a successful businessman, and he didn't need me getting in the way of that. The problem was, I knew he would put me first; I couldn't let him do that. My love for him was so strong that I knew he could get over this one heartbreak and continue with his life.

I will never forget Andy. He was the guy I wanted. He was the ideal guy.

Maybe that's why I am alone now. Maybe he was my soul mate.

Will I be alone forever?