Hometown Hero

Chapter Seventeen: Edge of a Thunderstorm

Neither of us moved for what felt like hours. The rain was coming, and everything seemed hazy, slow and dark.

We didn't say anything. I just curled myself into his arms, and let him kiss me until it stopped hurting. The thought of him, alone, fighting all of these terrible things and trying to be everything for everyone all at once sounded draining, and painful. I stared at Lexy, who crawled around the wood floor, chasing invisible friends and rolling plastic toys around the room.

Finally, I spoke, “I have a question.”

“Just one?” He asked, kissing the top of my head.

“Well, more like a thousand, but this one's the most important.” I amended, sitting up so I could see him clearly. His hair was a mess, and when he reached for my hand, all I wanted to do was touch him. I thought back, forming my question slowly “Why did you stay? I mean, with AJ, I kind of understand; she's your sister, and you're her big brother, so you'd want to protect her. But after what Erin told you, why would you keep Lexy?”

I realized how awful that must have sounded; not keeping a baby when your girlfriend didn't want her, what kind of person did that? But then again, what kind of person took in a child that may or may not be their's? I apologized anyway, “That sounded rude. I'm sorry.”

Indie shook his head, “No. I understand what you mean; why would I put more pressure on myself to take responsibility for something that I may not be involved with at all.” I nodded, running my hands over his, trying not to get distracted from his answers, “I knew that she could've had adopted parents, and that they would give her a great life, but if she was my daughter, and I knew she was out there somewhere, I'd end up looking for her anyway. Why take the risk? Why separate us if I could give her a life like this? I have more than enough money to support her, and give her anything she needs.”

I shook my head, “You're unbelievable. Are you sure you're real?”

“I'm sure.” He smiled, looking at me “Why?”

“Because, you talk like you would give everything away if it meant the people you loved would be happy.” I shook my head, “That's just not normal.”

He shrugged, “I'd do it for you.”

I sighed, “See? There you go again. Saying things like that.”

“You don't think I mean them?” He asked, and when I couldn't answer, he reached out and pulled me close to him again, “Dawson, listen to me. I love you. I've loved you since the very first time I thought about kissing you, and I've loved you every minute since. I would give you anything, anything in the world if I could; if I knew it would make you happy. And what's worse, I...I...”

Watching him, I was overcome with the urge to help; losing his words, it seemed so easy to pick them back up and figure him out.

“What, Indie?” I asked, my hand resting on his cheek “What is it?”

He leaned closer, his nose just brushing mine, but just as I was about to kiss him, he shook his head, moving away. “No, no, no.” He whispered, resting his head against my shoulder.

“Indie.” I pressed, waiting for an answer, something.

He moved off the couch, and walked toward the glass-panelled wall that exposed the entire backyard. His voice was low, the longing coating around every word and ripping me into pieces.

“Did you ever wonder why I said no to you the night before I left?” He asked, his hands shaking at his sides. I nodded, thinking back to how much I wanted to be with him, but I didn't say anything. He turned, but he couldn't meet my eyes “I look at you, and it kills me. It kills me that I know the day is coming that I have to wake up and say goodbye to you. It kills me that Matty looks at you the way that he does, and that he thinks about you in the same way that I think about you. I drive myself...drive myself crazy, because I have this little girl, and I'm trying to be the kind of man she'd want to love, when she's old enough. And here I am, dying to show you how badly I want you.”