Dear Calamity,

Log Entry: Part 2

Log

Date: 1/29

She is battling something. I'm sure of it. Something happened to her that left her mentally unstable. I need to know what it is. I know that's wrong of me but it is the only way I will be able to help her. If you by some miracle are reading this, just know that you don't have to battle this alone. I promise I will not leave your side. If you push me away, it will take a lot to get me to move. So good luck. Besides, I can't but guess you are warming up to me. You can hide your red cheeks all you want. But believe me, I can see you.

Logend

I glanced over at her and stopped writing for just a moment. She was out. Thank god. I smiled to myself and shook my head. Rinoa was by far one of the easiest people to read. I'm sure that she thought she was amazing at hiding her emotions but in reality, we all know that something is wrong. Maybe that's the reason I decided to stay by her side. Not because I was her biggest fan, not because I was her rival or enemy. But because she needed someone to be her outlet. The first week being with her was of course brutal. She hated me and made sure that I knew it. It was hard at first to deal with her venom, however it slowly deteriorated with the days. She was warming up to me; that was obvious. Was this because she had no one else to warm up to? What Leda and everyone did to her was brutal. I can see why they did it though. I know that's cruel to say. Though I've gone through worse. I know how to deal and experience tragedies like these. Although... Maybe she doesn't.

She maybe an open book when it comes to emotion, but her past is another ordeal completely. She keeps that sort of thing locked up tight, away from her friends, family, and even herself. Her breakdowns are something I have never encountered before. They typically end up with her bleeding or crying; or both. When we were walking in the park yesterday she opened up about something that I thought would take weeks or even months to get out of her.

"Can... Can I tell you something?" She asked, picking at one of her hangnails as we walked. I had nodded. She didn't say anything for a minute more; picking her words carefully before she spoke. I waited patiently, yet my mind was running a thousand miles an hour on endless possibilities. She finally broke the silence, speaking slowly as to make sure nothing that came out would be something she regretted. "Something happened... last year." Her voice shook along with her hands. It wasn't noticeable to anyone would hadn't seen the signs before but she was afraid, traumatized.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I said calmly. She shook her head and opened her eyes to face the concrete. "I haven't told anyone. Promise you won't tell anyone?" She had said, her voice barely above a whisper.

I grabbed her hand to reassure her that I was there and wasn't going to let go. "I promise." She squeezed my hand softly and looked up. "I won't tell you everything. But I will give you a name." She decided. I said nothing and waited for her reveal. Anticipation building with each passing second.

"His name was Ethan."

There were 5 Ethan's that attended Pilgrim High School. I had messaged Marley last night and asked if I could borrow a yearbook. Apparently she liked me enough to let me come over and borrow one, but not with out her questions.

"Why do you need a yearbook anyway?" She asked as I stood on the front steps of her house. Wanting to uphold my promise I lied, which is something I had gotten pretty good at.

"Kelly said there was a really embarrassing picture of Brooke and Maddie. I couldn't resist getting a peek at it." She handed over the year book and gave me the page number it was on.

"So you are friends with them? I would have thought with the way you looked at Rinoa that you wouldn't think of looking at them." She saw right through it. I turned around without looking back. Maybe it will change her outlook on me. Once I got home I looked through every page of the yearbook to find every person named Ethan. Three of them were seniors. One was a freshman and the last one was a sophomore in Rinoa's grade. I had seen both of the younger ones in the school. The freshman, now sophomore was Ethan Hoks. He was in my Calculus class. He was gay and pretty open about it. I don't think it could have been him. The next one was in a junior this year. Ethan Violett. He was a pretty quiet guy, seemed to stay to himself a lot. He liked reading and was on the speech team. I don't think it was him either. That leaves it down to the seniors.