The Sun's bright light flooded in through the carbon plated window and the air filters wined. He sat up and coughed, suddenly aware that the outdated air filters were making it significantly harder to breathe.
His watch vibrated.
"What is it now?"
"That hurt my feelings"
"You don't have feelings" He said regretting having ever opening his mouth.
"I have synthetic feelings"
"Yes but they're outdated. Now tell me what was so important that you had to wake me up!"
"I didn't wake you up you were already awake you just-"
"Just tell me, I didn't buy you to have an argument in fact I have no idea why I did at all"
"It is the 3rd of June 3016 you have two outstanding messages.
Message number 1: A new month a new sale today at energy plus we are offering you the chance to win a new rover six plus with-"
"Delete message"
"Message two deleted"
"I meant delete message one arghhh"
He attempted to pull off the watch but failed leaving a red mark around his wrist.
"Do you have a self destruct button?"
"Maybe"
"Was that supposed to be funny?"
"Humour setting selected. Please specify intensity"
"What the hell? now you listen here-"
"Cannot find category 'hot the hell' please try again"
"That's not funny"
"Category 'a lot funny' verified download.... one out of three four two seven jokes"
"Turn off!!!"
"Turn- move or cause to move in a circular direction."
"I am so done with this"
"Joke number one selected: why did the domestic fowl cross the road?"
"Are you done yet?"
"Word one replaced by done" Some one was knocking on the the door but after waiting for too long was now punching and kicking the door.
"Have you finished talking to your friend senator yet because I'd like to come in"
"Door open"
"Door opening" said the door.
The man now entering the room said "finally your watch has decided to shut up"
The door slammed shut the mans arm trapped in the door but the rest of him outside.
The door said "doors closing malfunction occurred object obstructing, please remove object"
" Humour successful" The watch said in its usual monotone voice.
YOU ARE READING
Short comedy stories
Science FictionWith the day of the election nearing will he be able to cope with the most supreme empire in the universe or will he crack under the pressure?
