the story of someone else

chapter one

i met her on the first day of grade 7, high school. 

before that day, i had many friends, but i didn't quite fit with any of them. i never had one single friend who i could rely on completely, who i knew would be there to catch me should i fall, knowing i'd do the same for them. i simply didn't seem to... fully trust anyone, and nobody seemed to fully trust me. but until i reached high school, i never realised how alone i truly was.

when i walked into the classroom, slightly late, i saw a girl sitting by the window by herself. of course, by the window is always where i sit in a classroom, never in the middle, so i approached her and asked if i could sit next to her with what i hoped was a friendly smile but was probably awkward. she said it was fine, and i sat, got out my exercise book and pencils, and listened. the teacher instructed us to find someone who we could contact should we miss a class, so of course i turned to her and held out my hand.

"I'm May. May Mazanov." a smile plastered on my face as per usual, hiding behind an act, i silently prayed she would be the one. the one who i'd trust, the one who'd trust me. 

she smiled, her eyes the colour of stormy skies crinkling slightly behind her purple-rimmed glasses. "Eponine Snow. Nice to meet you, May."

"Same to you. Now, what the heck did Ms. just say?"

after a week of hanging around each other because we didn't really want to talk to anyone else, we grew to be friends. good friends, laughing and talking and being insane together. we sat with each other in classes, partnered up whenever possible, made passing comments on other students and she'd copy my work in maths while i did it with a smile, i'd read her answers to better understand the question. we worked together as a team, and it was even better that we both seemed to view each other as good friends. maybe not best, not yet, but good.

i saw myself spending my life with this girl. she was amazing in my eyes, talented and funny and intelligent and beautiful. we loved the same things, geeky shows and disney films. we had the same dreams, the same goals, the same opinions on most things and would bring up a friendly debate whenever we didn't. she was a joy to be around, someone to look forward to seeing upon arriving at a school still too big. her smile made me smile, her laugh made me laugh.

one day, i accidentally said something about what i'd thought of often, a home with her as my roommate, travelling the world together. i kept my mask up, but inwardly, i shrank back, embarrassed. i'd known her for three weeks! (it felt like three years.) what was i saying?! i crossed my fingers and prayed she wouldn't be creeped out, wouldn't leave me.

she just laughed and replied, saying she thought about that too. 

a warm feeling grew in my heart, for once my smile wasn't fake.

whether or know she knew it, whether or not i knew it, i had trusted her completely then and there. i had thrown myself into the deep end, trusting that she'd catch me or save me or help me up. trusting that she'd jump with me, and wait for me at the bottom. 

but highs only last so long, and soon you crash back to the cold hard ground.