the story of someone else

chapter four

three days. three days was how many days after the month finished that eponine decided it would be a good idea to tell me that she and kyle had been dating for two weeks. two weeks. without even thinking to tell me.

she had looked at me with such a confused expression, confused as to why tears were forming in my eyes. kyle slapped on a worried expression, but i could see the amusement dancing in his evil eyes. he knew he'd won. he knew i'd lost.

i looked to the ground, avoiding her bewildered gaze and his mocking one. "Have fun, then." that was all i said before turning away, eyes lowered and skin pale. one of the teachers asked if i was okay, i was so pale and my eyes so dark. i used the excuse to go home, sick. 

i was sick, truly i was. just not... physically. 

eponine called me once, sounding slightly distressed. i reassured her, internally screaming at myself to tell her the truth, simply saying i didn't feel well and not to worry about me.  she sounded unsure, but didn't call me again. i kind of hoped she would be able to tell i was lying, and wanted to check up on me again, but apparently not. 

i kept waiting for my mum to return home before remembering she wasn't home had wouldn't be for five days. 

alone.

i had to change my pillowcase after an hour because my makeup, however light, stained it.

i called my mum, but she didn't pick up. i left a message saying i felt really sick and was staying home for a couple days. i don't know if she got it, because she never replied. 

that was the second time i got out a knife.

i was intending to cut myself, but the hand holding the knife started shaking uncontrollably. fear. so much fear of being hurt. so instead, i sliced a piece of bread off the loaf and made a vegemite sandwich. which i couldn't bring myself to eat anyway, so i just threw it in the bin with a satisfying clunk. 

the only sound in my house was the acoustic version of 'the one that got away' by katy perry and my sobs.