First of Two

First of Two - Chapter Nine

Sooo. An update after like, two weeks, I think. Sorry. I was too busy CRYING OVER ALLEGIANT. Seriously, I tried to write this over and over again and it always ended up terribly due to my short period of depression. But here it is! And I hope you enjoy.

-Daphne

First of Two – Chapter 9

R I L E Y

There was one good thing and one bad thing about Fridays.

Bad: she wouldn’t see him for two days.

Good: she got to talk to him on the phone. Until their eyelids would refuse to stay awake.

God, she sounded so obsessed with him. When Becca was done freaking out all over her, Riley slumped back to her bed. Her eyes focusing on the blank ceiling and her head resting against a pillow were the only things that helped her feel steady.

It was like reading a really good romantic novel. Except this time, it was her story. Who would have known that the sequel of her life would lead her to this path? A laugh bubbled up inside her and it reminded her of how the things that gave her butterflies would make Adrian laugh.

In an attempt to calm down, she opened up her homework, mostly only staring at it. When the clock struck nine, she hasn’t done much. But it was finally time to call Adrian. She wondered how it would be different this time.

He wasn’t answering.

She dialed again and again. Still no answer. For the first time in weeks, he didn’t pick up his phone right after the third ring. He didn’t pick up his phone at all. Maybe he was busy or he forgot his phone somewhere. But that has never happened. He would leave her a text message if he was too busy to talk, or he could have told her in class.

After several tries, she gave up and decided to sleep early, despite that something didn’t feel right.

She didn’t try to call him during the weekend. After all those missed calls, he would definitely call back if he’d seen his phone. But the two heavy days passed without a single notice from Adrian. So when Monday morning came, Riley felt alarmed as she rushed to class. She arrived twenty minutes earlier than usual.

Surprisingly, there he was. On his seat, next to hers. He was reading, his hand holding up his head.

“Hey,” she said softly as she took her place. He looked up and pushed out a smile. Pushed out. Not the way he automatically did when he’d see her.

“Riley.” His voice was strained. Like he was about to cry. His eyes weren’t filled with what they used to have: cheerfulness, excitement... energy. But he tried to make it look like they were. “How was your weekend?” he asked as he faced her, shutting his book close.

“Um… Are you alright?” She planned to say something else. About why he didn’t answer his phone. But it just didn’t feel like the right thing to mention at the moment.

“Of course,” he said, shrugging. “Why wouldn’t I be?” She didn’t respond. She usually wouldn’t anyway. But something was surely off. For the rest of the day, she watched him talk to his friends. The way he smiled and laughed and acted. It wasn’t the same; it wasn’t genuine. His friends didn’t seem to notice. But she knew.

Through his eyes, she knew.

A D R I A N

Riley was looking at him weirdly as they silently ate at the cafeteria.

He was sitting so close to her; there wasn’t an inch of space in between them. It made him feel still just like holding her gaze, while everything else in his world quaked. But she didn’t look at him the same way she usually would, like he made her feel safe.

Then again, he couldn’t even make himself feel safe.

“Adrian,” she spoke with uncertainty. “I know I’ve been quiet all day. And I don’t mean because I’m always quiet. I mean quiet about what’s bothering you.”

He gulped. “Nothing’s bothering me.”

“I don’t believe that.” He tried not to look at her while he pushed back the tears. This wasn’t the first time it has happened; his memory messing with him, the pain coming with it. But he managed to smile it off every time, to laugh along with everyone else and share their happiness even if it wasn’t his.

But with Riley, it felt different. It felt like he could confide in her the things he couldn’t face by himself. Like he could share his dark instead of stealing her bright. With a little hesitation, he turned to her. For the first time today, he didn’t make an effort to hide his grief.

“You’re right,” he whispered. “I have something to tell you.”

They walked away from the noisy cafeteria and sat on a bench outside. It was the middle of October and the cold air made him shiver.

“Tell me,” Riley encouraged, her lips shaking. How could he tell her what he couldn’t even clearly explain to himself?

“….Two years ago, I lost my memory,” he choked out. “…when I woke up, they told me that I was in a terrible car crash with my father … what they didn’t know, I do remember. Not everything. But some things I couldn’t figure out…”

Adrian didn’t remember who his mother was. She was just a woman who claimed to take very good care of him. He trusted her as it felt like his only grip at the moment. But a few hours later, Adrian started to freak out. All he saw was a man swinging his fists into his face and breaking all the glasses from the kitchen.

This was the image he saw once in a while, in a dream or a flashback. It would crush his heart, make him feel like he was in between closing walls. In the beginning, it was much worse. He was diagnosed with an Adjustment Disorder and was sent to a center for a year and a half before he was able to go back to school.

On the day he woke up from the accident, there was someone else who he was sent to see: his father. Adrian didn’t know who he was either, but he was plugged into different wires and his face was patched with bandages. He was told that his dad was part of the accident. It was such an incomprehensible situation.

For days, the woman who claimed to be his mother told him stories about his dad. He was in the army and funded many charities. They were wonderful stories. He passed away two weeks later, but Adrian got to meet him the day he died. He told him how proud he was of Adrian and gave him the pendant he wore every day.

“…And sometimes, it just comes. Like a terrible flashback. I don’t want to go back to the Center. I don’t want my mom to worry about me at all. So as hard and unexplainable as it may be, I fight it.” Riley grabbed his hand with both of hers and looked at him striaght in the eyes. She didn't pity him, like he didn't want her to. She was trying to be with him. He knew.

Through her eyes, he knew.