First of Two

First of Two - Final Chapter

First of Two – Final Chapter

R I L E Y

After three months of blurry nothingness, there was only one thing Riley wanted to forget.

That he was real.

For the past few months, her world had been spinning without her being in it. Slowly and rapidly at the same time, if that was even possible. She had just gotten back from home, where she spent the holidays with her father and step-mother. Now, she was facing her dorm room, not sure if she was ready to start all over.

“Riley!” she heard Becca scream from the end of the hallway. She was hauling her suitcases towards the door.

“Hey,” she muttered once they were facing each other. Unlocking the dorm, Riley and Becca let themselves in and settled their things on their own beds. Riley stared at hers; it had been quite a while since the last time she lied on it and watched her thoughts dance around the ceiling.

“You look so much better now,” Becca commented. Riley smiled. She knew what her roommate meant. What a mess she must have seemed after Adrian left school without notice (Not even a single call). It might have hurt her; but she there was no way to remember clearly. Nothing from reality had registered in her mind properly during the last weeks before Christmas.

But it was time she’d tried to forget. As if he wasn’t real. As if the time she spent with him hadn’t affected her in such a strong way.

“Ri, want to get something to eat downstairs?”

Normally, Riley would have refused. But without contemplating, she nodded. “Sure.”

Because if she was willing to block all the noises she used to hear only from thinking of Adrian and the way he looked at her like nobody has ever did before, she knew she had to completely step out of the dark and move on.

For the next three weeks, Riley had excelled in school more than she did before. She’d been making an effort to eat with Becca at the dorm’s cafeteria during the weekends. She was okay. Not happy or entirely comfortable, but okay. Most of all, everybody stopped asking her about Adrian. It was clear, two weeks after he left, that no one knew what happened to him.

So when Jim approached her after class, she wondered what he wanted. “Hey, Riley.”

“Hi,” she said, softly as ever.

“I was wondering if you wanted to hang out at the lounge? I mean… I know I’ve been asking you and, um, Adrian before and you were probably too busy, I guess… But if you—“

“Sure,” she interrupted.

“Sure? You’ll go?”

“Sure, why not?” She gave Jim out an assuring smile. “I’ll be there during my break tomorrow. After English.” A satisfied look spread on Jim’s face as he nodded happily.

“Great. I’ll see you then.” He waved goodbye and Riley did too. Things for Riley seemed like they were falling into place. So far.

All she had to figure out now was how to drive to the right way.

A D R I A N

His dreams were all about her.

There wasn’t one day he spent at the Center without the heavy regret in the pits of his heart of saying goodbye to Riley in the most improper way clawing him tightly. There wasn’t a day he didn’t think about how she was doing. Who was going to make her smile even just a little bit every day? Who was going to make her glance from her book?

But he knew that thinking like this wouldn’t help him recover at all.

After agreeing to spend the rest of the school year back at the Center, where he was going to be under supervision of doctors and be involved in therapeutic activities to help him regain some of his childhood memories and heal from the painful ones, he thought he was ready to face the challenge.

Though, he was starting to realize that he wasn’t.

He wasn’t ready to let go of her, of the connection they had together—a special spark he has never shared with anyone before. Maybe if Riley knew he was here, she would come visit him. But he wouldn’t want that either. He couldn’t imagine appearing vulnerable in front of her. That would be like robbing her of the little smiles she would let out, instead of being the reason they were there.

All his hopes consisted of her being happy right now. If only there was a way to know… And there was.

He was sitting in front of his bedroom’s window that day he finally thought of a way to find out how she was doing.

Jim.

He had Riley’s number. But he could never call her. Not if all he had to tell her was that he was at a Center where they were supposedly patching up his brokenness. No; but he also had his friends’ phone numbers.

“Sure, bro. I could do that for you,” Jim assured him once he told him about Riley. He didn’t reveal where he’d been, but he made sure Jim understood how important Riley was to him. And he was glad to hear from him night after night for the next few weeks.

“She’s doing great, dude,” Jim told him today. It’s been quite a while since they’ve gotten back to school. Two months maybe. “I heard she went shopping with Marissa and Elle. And there’s her roommate who she keeps talking about… seems like she’s been making good friends since you’ve, you know, left.”

Adrian smiled sadly. “Thanks for keeping an eye on her…” He didn’t want to ask but his chest was bubbling and crushing him for an answer. “Um, I was just wondering…”

“Yeah?” Jim asked.

“Does she ever… does she ever mention me?”

Silence followed his question. He could almost hear Jim bite his lip unsurely. “I… I don’t know, Ad. But I don’t think I’ve ever heard your name from her lately…” Tears started welling up his eyes, his heart twisting that he can’t breathe without shaking.

He missed her. But she was happy and maybe it was enough reason for him to be too.

All he had to figure out was how to drive to the right way.