one shots || clexa

one

                  

Lexa isn't sure how she managed to get into this mess.

What she does know is that she has no idea how to get the hell out of it.

Let's backtrack first.

A few weeks ago, Lexa went to hang out at Lincoln's place. She's known Lincoln ever since her first year of college and they've stuck by each other's side ever since. He's like an older brother she's always wanted, but never had.

A few hours into their Game Of Thrones marathon, Lincoln's girlfriend – Octavia Blake – called. Long story short, she came over and brought some friends with her. Raven Reyes and Clarke Griffin.

Lexa has seen them both on campus a few times. She doesn't really know Raven, only knows she's into some technology-ish major Lexa doesn't really know the correct term for and she has something going on with Anya, another one of Lexa's friends. They haven't really met yet, though.

But, Clarke.

Lexa has quite the history with Clarke.

Not a good one, so to say.

Lexa has known Clarke for years, basically. If she remembers correctly, they must have met in 9th grade. At first they were quite the good friends and Lexa enjoyed being in Clarke's company. She actually really liked being around her.

That's what made Lexa start to think about certain things.

Like, why did she start to get nervous around Clarke? Why did she like being with Clarke more than she liked being with her other friends? Why did she choose Clarke above everything and everyone else?

Lexa wasn't sure.

They stayed friends up until the end of 11th grade.

Then Lexa knew.

When she told Clarke about her sexuality, something changed between them. It went gradually. At first, Clarke started to cancel their meetings where it would be just the two of them. When they were around friends she'd made sure there was always someone between them. She wouldn't even look at Lexa anymore.

Lexa was glad she didn't tell Clarke about her feelings.

Lexa tried to mend things between them, even though she honestly had no idea what went wrong or even why it went wrong – she just felt like she needed to do something. Anything.

But Clarke kept pulling away and she started to say things to her. Lexa doesn't really want to think back to it, or repeat them. They weren't necessarily mean. Clarke probably meant it teasingly but they stung and somehow, slowly, Lexa started to pull away too.

Clarke kept messing with her, kept making jokes about her sexuality, and after the end of their senior year of high school they've never spoken again.

So, when she saw Clarke again at Lincoln's, Lexa didn't really know how to react at first.

She chose the distant, cold demeanor she always has when meeting new people.

Lexa remembers how their eyes met and if Clarke recognized her, she didn't say anything.

//

Lexa got over it, though – her feelings for Clarke.

In her junior year of college she met Costia. She helped Lexa forget about high school, forget about Clarke. It helped.

At first they kept it purely physical, but soon that wasn't enough for the both of them and they made things official. Lexa loved her. She really did. Costia was a great girl and she was so sweet. She would've done everything for Lexa.