Recap: My mind finally started drifting off into sleep when all of sudden I heard a women groan and a loud BANG.
And another.. and another followed by several male grunts and female moans of ecstasy.
"Great!... Really fabulous; of all the nights!" I grumbled into my pillow before pulling it over my head and pressing it against my ears. Seriously?! Of all the nights all I wanted was a few hours of sleep maybe 3 or 4hours but noooo Mr. and Ms. Horny over there have to get it on! Gah! No matter which way I turn I just can't ignore it! Okay, in their defense it's really not that loud and since it's like 3 in the morning I highly doubt it is loud enough to wake anyone up but if you are already up, like me, you really can't go to bed like this. At least their room is across the hall and not next to mine that really would be awful but for some reason I really can't find it in me to be appreciative of this slight luck.
I turned up the volume on my TV and rolled over pushing all of my attention onto the Russian soap-opera. Eventually, maybe an hour later, they died off and I finally drifted into oblivion.
The sun wafted in through the slightly drawn curtains of my room and I rolled over and stretched out my body. My ankle still hurt a little from last night's adventures and now examining it I can clearly see I tore the ligament. Oh well that hurts really bad but nothing serious. I really want to go swimming right now. Last night, even though the river was petrifying-ly cold it reminded me of how much I love to swim.
"Honey come on I'm hungry let's get breakfast" whined a squeaky but hoarse women's voice from outside my room. Oh brilliant! I have an idea! I clambered out of bed and pulled on my bathrobe and searched through the mini-bar. I pulled out a pack of gum and started chewing. On my way out I looked at myself in the mirror. I have massive bags hanging below my eyes and my hair looks like a rat's nest. So I pulled it up into a bun to make myself look at least halfway decent. I flipped the top lock hook, you know the one that you flip close in your room so even if someone can unlock the door they can't get in? Well I flipped it so it would keep my door open and walked out into the hallway.
Perfect. Mr. and Ms. Horny left their door propped open while she is pulling his arm trying to get him to leave. They were quite distracted and didn't even spare me a glance so I spat out the gum into my hand and stuck it on the door frame where the lock would meet, to keep it open. Still unnoticed I pushed back into my room and sat on the ground waiting for them to leave.
Once I could no longer hear their whiny voices and their footsteps disappeared I grabbed my room key before proceeding to leave my room. No one was in the hallway so I walked up to their door and pushed it open.
"Good" I muttered the gum did its job. I reached on the other side of the door to grab the "do not disturb" sign and hung it around the outer door knob.
"Oh my goodness, what a mess!" There is underwear spewed across the room, the curtains are falling of the rod, and fast food wrappers littered every square inch of the really nice hotel room. This is my personal opinion but when breaking into a room that everything is in its exact place and the papers are stacked neatly and the pictures are hung perfectly it is actually a lot easier to leave the room in the same condition as when you came. You can see how everything is supposed to be and it is easier to leave it back in it's place. You don't have to worry about tripping over something or leaving the filth exactly as how it was. Which is a lot harder since there is so much stuff everywhere it gets harder to remember the perfect location of everything.
I doubted these people realize where everything is but I walked carefully to make sure I didn't trip over anything. Their closet was already open and stuffed to the brim with women's clothing. Excellent! I am having really good fortune right now! I rummaged through the open suitcase until I found a bathing suit top and bottom and a pair of shoes, they were espadrilles. It seems like the only shoes she owns are spiky little stilettos so I was happy to find these. I straightened up and started rifling through all the clothing that is hung until I found a nice little black sundress and a blue cardigan to match. At least she looks to be about my size because I really didn't feel like trampling around in my hardened clothing from last night. Also, leave it a tourist to have both a bathing suit and sundress with her, not to mention all the heels. Has she seen how many potholes line these streets?!
