If living was the hardest part

Floats like a butterfly

*Dan's POV*

It doesn't take much

The bus pulled around the corner

To cover up small cuts

I stuck my hand out for it to stop, the warmth from my pocket leaving my slightly numb fingers

Beneath the bandages

I show my bus pass to the driver

Under her sleaves

I sit at the back alone

She just wants attention

I'm always alone,  aren't I?

We all want attention

No I'm always with Phil

She just wants in more than

I've never been so fucking alone

She'd have you believe

I feel a hot tear trickle down my face

Good night

I clutch the bag I brought filled with fresh clothes for Phil

Sleep tight

Why do I care??

Don't let anyone bite

I'd let Phil bite

She will leave you deaf and bewildered

He did...

Oh how she floats like a butterfly

Hes so perfect

Stings like a killer

But it's so wrong

All of the good kids

He was so kind

Will darken there eyelids

No

Cover in makeup

He is so nice

And uncomfortable dress

He hasn't changed

They just want attention

I just didn't notice him

We all want attention

I've been such a shit friend

A beautiful kiss and

I can't kick him out now

I'm sent to confess

After all he's helped me with

Good night

And how little I've noticed his problems

Sleep tight

All I did was focus on my own

Don't let anyone bite

It's not like he would talk about them

She will leave you

Yeah because he was afraid to, Dan

Deaf and bewildered

All you did was care about yourself

Oh how she floats like a butterfly

You just left him to die

Stings like a killer

I looked out of the dirty window of the bus to see that the next stop was mine. I took out my head phones and wrote "I'm sorry Phil" on the condensation of the window. Then I walked back to the front of the bus and hit the little red button with the faded word "stop" on it to signal the driver I wanted to get off the bus. The small ding slightly startled me, even though I was expecting it. How can anything sound so assured at this time? How can anything be so happy? The only colour I have ever known in my world of grey could be dead and this button dares to make such a cheerful sound. I feel the bus slowdown and stop. I shuffle off the bus, my vision blurred with tears, I try and mutter a gruff thank you to the driver but my voice breaks.
How pathetic am I?  I walk down the road to the hospital, everything silent, everything numb. I hate this feeling of angst, the anticipation to see him.  I stop outside of the hospital. If I turn back now, I could get all my stuff out of the house and move. Make a YouTube video about how living with Phil didn't work out, find a decent girl, get married, maybe have a kid.  But then I would let Phil Lester die. My colour. My sunshine. My reason to breathe. The man I love, as a friend or more... I haven't decided. I grab the door handle. And attempt to  push it open, only to realize it was a pull, maybe this is the universes way of saying don't do it... If it is, fuck the universe right?  I push open the door and walk inside.  There is no turning back now. I choose Phil. No matter the consequences. I choose Phil, because I love him.