If living was the hardest part

Stings like a killer

*phils POV*

I wake up, or regain consciousness, aren't they the same thing? My arms sting, and this isn't my bed... Where am I and what did I take last night? My arms sting really bad, especially the right one. Wait is someone holding it? Who would that be... What happened last night???

Dan.

Dan.

I came out to Dan

Oh shit

Where am I

I open my eyes immediately,  wiping away the crust at the side, I hear the beeps that signal my heart beat speed up. I am not dead. I look down at my right hand to see the younger boy holding onto it, his head rested in my stomach. He was alseep.

He looked horrible, I mean Dan always looked gorgeous, but he looked horrible. He had dark circles around his puffy eyelids, which were red, and looked painful, his cheeks were raw with tear marks, his hair was messy and greasy, to the extent where it stuck to his forehead. He also smelled slightly bad, and he was wearing the same clothes as the last time I saw him... How many days have I been alseep? Dans head moved slightly.

Dan yawned. Dan stretched. Dan rubbed his eyes. Dan was perfect.

"Ph-Phil?" Dan muttered, his voice was raw, he sounded (and looked) like he had been crying and screaming

"Philly?"  He whispered, tears falling down his face, "a-are you awake now, or am, am I dreaming again"

"I'm awake Dan" I said with no emotion.

"Phil..." He whispered, voice trembling.

"Phil." He whispered, draping his arms around my waist.

"Phil," he whispered grabbing the sides of my face, "Phil," he whispered tilting chin up with his two fingers,

"Phil," he said, pressing his soft, slightly chapped from lack of care/sleep, lips to the side of my cheek.

"Phil," he said pressing his mouth to mine, "Phil," he said, after pulling away, "don't scare me like that again."

"Danny." I muttered, grabbing the taller  boys hair, pulling him into another extensive, desperate kiss.  "You don't know how long I've wanted to do that...."

"I do," he said, "because I've wanted you to since the day I met you..."

---------------time lapse-------------------
*still phils pov*

"Okay Phil, the blood test has come back negative for any stds or tetanus,  and you've been put on suicide watch,  please visit your doctor about taking anti depressants or seek help from a therapist, also you have to come back in here again in 3 days to take out the stitches, as you were asleep for 4 days..."

"Thank you for the information." Phil said curtly

"Okay, have a good day"

I will, I thought as I walked out the door, I will because I think I'm dating Dan Howell.

"I called a taxi" Dan said.

"A taxi? We could have taken the bus..."

"Phil I litterally haven't showered in 4 days and Neither have you, were taking a taxi."

"O-okay." He said, as the older boy grabbed his hand and took him outside.

We sat on a cold metal bench infront of the hospital, I felt myself  shiver.

"Are you cold?" Dan asked

"A little"

"I'll cuddle you all night" Dan said wrapping his arms around phils waists

"I love you Danny" I muttered

"I love you too Phil"
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Authors note;

Hey it's me, Ik it's been ages but I've decided to update this BC I reread it and had a few ideas, anyway, whoever a reading this, for the next chapter do you want fluff, smut, fluff and smut or a plot advancement. This is the last oppertunity for a filler chapter of fluff or smut tho so.... Hurry up and choose