She nodded her head, in defiance as her eyes began to grow glassy.
"What??? Don't tell me you were expecting me to write that song for you.. Did you??
She was stiff, perfectly still, not making any efforts to reply or respond. He was expecting her to fight back, the way she always did to his jokes and teases....to ONLY HIS jokes and teases. He had perhaps lost that place because she was treating him like she treated the rest of the world.
He laughed out loud at her misery, trying to cover up his ache with shoddy overacting. "You girls can be so desperate. Do you really think I would go around writing songs for every Tom, Dick, Harry? I mean I can, if a girl is that hot, but definitely not for someone as boring as you, Tapri."
He had to be extra harsh to counter her silence. It helped that he had such a reputation. He was the famous 'heartbreaker', but only he knew, he had never actually broken a heart except his own. Girls flocked around him all the time, did stupid silly things for him and he just played along, harmlessly flirting for fun sake. But he never crossed the line, never made anyone cry. In fact, he had never loved a girl, no one other than that same boring Nandini Murthy. She was different, because her affection was genuine and it showed in her eyes. And ironically, he had never flirted with her. He couldn't flirt with someone he truly had feelings for. And that's why it was important that he broke her heart today, because his friends had been right... he was the worst possible choice for her.
"Kya hua, bolti kyun band ho gayi tumhari... abhi to jump karte hue aayi thi" Shit it was hurting now. Why didn't she just walk out, or throw something at him. Why did she have to stand there with a puppy face and teary eyes. Why did she have to make him feel like a monster when the truth was that he bore more pain than he was inflicting on her.
"Sorry Manik...."She started speaking, very slowly, as if she had to search for each word. "I didn't know it was Dhruv's song. When you sang on the stage, you were singing it for me. My mistake, I misread. Actually I never really noticed Dhruv, not today, not ever. I didn't notice anyone because all I could ever see was you."
He felt something massive hit his chest. This girl was sick, sick in his love. When did this happen, when did it go so deep? But he had to cure her of this before it became a life threatening ailment.
"But I am sorry, it wasn't your fault. May be I misread your silence. May be I heard what you never said." She turned around and walked out.
He stayed back. Now that she was gone, he could let his tears flow.
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Why are some people born unlucky. Why can't they get the little love that every human being deserves. Today, his music didn't have an answer and perhaps his stars too were angry with him. Chapter over Manik Malhotra, even before it could begin.
It had already been close to 20 minutes when he realized it was quite late in the night. Nandini had walked away broken. Had she reached home. How could he be so callous, so self-absorbed that he forgot about her.
He grabbed his back pack and rushed out of the green room.
The auditorium was deserted, not a soul was to be found. He took the closest exit and ran out towards the main street. That was deserted too. She must have gone home, he thought, when he heard a faint voice in the distance. He ran towards it, wondering whether it was hers and he was right. She was wailing and shouting on the phone. "What's taking you guys so long. Can't you see I am waiting here alone."
He stayed back, watching her from a distance. Her parents, he understood, were coming to pick her. Only that they never reached; because as their car was approaching, a truck came speeding from the opposite side and right before his and Nandini's eyes, there was a head on collision.
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He hadn't even recovered from the shock, when he saw her collapse on the road. For a second, he lost it. But then he had to gather himself & call the ambulance. He was with her when they were taking her & her parents to the hospital.
Flashback Ends...
*************
To this day, it gives him nightmares. It was because of him that she lost her parents. Had it not been for his mean words, she would have perhaps reached home on time. That night when he returned home, she was still lying unconscious. Her relatives had arrived, her granny , uncle, aunty and brother. Her parents had still not been declared dead. They were in the Operation Theater.
That night, alone in his mansion, he had puked and screamed and torn his clothes in agony. He had wanted to kill himself, to jump off the balcony or perhaps swallow a bunch of pills. May be, he would have if Cabir hadn't come around at the right time and slapped him left and right. It was cabir, who told him repeatedly that he had to live to see that she was ok, that if he had broken her, he was the one who had to mend her. Cabir had fed him and tucked him in bed. Cabir had stayed up all night, night after night after night, extending his hand whenever Manik felt restless and wanted to dig his fingers into something.
He owed his life to Cabir, as much as he owed everything else to Nandini. Despite all that happened, despite losing her parents because of him, she still had the heart to give him the note? What was she? Was she a psycho? Why did she have to love him to the point where it made him feel guilty. Couldn't she understand, he would never be able to accept her friendship, not then and no way now.
He was her culprit, not her savior.
"Tell me na where is she..you to know" He pleaded the stars "What if she doesn't come tomorrow as well? What if she too has left.."
He couldn't sit idle anymore, it was driving him crazy. 13 whole days had gone by without a single glimpse of her. He had to find out where she was and if she didn't turn up the next day, he would knock right on her door and asked her granny about her. But he hoped it didn't come to that. He didn't want to show her that he had any feelings for her. He couldn't kill himself every day. He had already been dead more than once.
