The Battles We Face

The Rundown

That was then. Two months I'd been running through the woods, living on only a few hours of sleep a night and meager pieces of food that I'd find either in the woods or from abandoned houses. I had little to no survival techniques known to me. I had always had a good combination of book-smart and common sense but to have to completely rough it in the woods while on the run was a fresh experience to me.

On top of my lack of survival skills was my sense of direction. I had no idea where I was headed other than the general idea that I was headed west due to the sun setting and east when it was rising. What was in the west that I might find useful? Nothing. I had no idea where I was headed or what i might accomplish in the meantime.

All I knew was that my pursuers weren't far behind me. To stop would result in my capture. I was exhausted from the endless days of running for my life and looking over my shoulder as I went. At night, I could hear them rustling through the woods. Some nights, I could hear them so close that I just knew it would be the night that it was all over for me. Then in some twist of fate they would veer in another direction on the chase of what they thought was my trail.

The nights that scared me the most were the ones that I couldn't hear them. The silence would feel as if it were drowning me and I would constantly wonder where they were hiding. Were they closer than what I expected? Stalking me for prey? Or were they gone only for me to round a corner and be nose to nose with the traitorous soldiers? I'd learned that I preferred the rustling of the leaves beneath their heavy boots, it at least told me exactly where they were. The unknown of their whereabouts haunted me.

Currently, I was leaned heavily against a tall, sturdy tree letting myself rest if only for a moment. I couldn't sleep so I held open my tattered Bible and stared closely at it under the moon lit sky. Ever since that night of awakening, I had to know more. I hadn't heard the voice again, but I knew He was still there close and guiding my every move.

I always had a close relationship with God, or at least I thought I did by my own standards. I was born and raised on the church pews. My whole family were avid church goers. As i got older, I abused my beliefs only to go through the ringer and ended up having to redefine my relationship with Christ. I had to fall back in love with Him again and really buckle down.

During and after college, I did mission work in various countries before signing on as an interval English teacher in Guatemala. When i wasn't teaching in America, I spent my summers there. I learned more from those people about being devoted to Christ than anywhere else I had been. It seemed so easy for them despite their impoverish state. They didn't hold back due to their cultural reservations but abandoned their societal expectations, relying fully on Christ.

Though they had little, they still had so much because of their faith. It was among them they I realized that I was the one most deeply in poverty. Not because of my possessions, but because of my spiritual state. I still had a tough time selling myself out fully. I always wanted more of what God had to offer, but had felt as if I was wondering around without any direction or guidance. Much like how I felt in my current status.

I'd begun to be discouraged and then this all happened and now I hardly knew which was faced up or down. I was running in circles, both physically and spiritually.

I sat back further against the tree and looked out into the dark surroundings, focusing on the parts that the moonlight didn't quite touch. I let out a small sigh. Who was I kidding with this? I had no idea where I was headed. How long could I run around until my body finally gave in and they dragged me back to their compound kicking and screaming?

Visions of my family being tied up and hauled into Humvee's flitted through my mind. I had to find them. I needed to find them. More than anything, I wanted to find them to know they were ok. They would know what to do once we were together.