I never thought my life would get this hard. I guess that is the point of growing up.
I'm not very keen on it to be fair. I am a 12 year old little girl dealing with so many problems in my life, I just can't cope anymore.
I always ask myself the same question everyday.
"What is there left for me here?"
My mum and dad died when I was 10 years of age and ever since then my 18 year old brother has brought me up, he does a very good job of it but now I don't even see him as much. He works a full time job now that he knows I am becoming more mature and responsible. I have never gave my brother too much bother or grief because when our parents died he knew it would be his duty to look after me along with his girlfriend Zara.
God.
I dislike her so much. She's always around though and they both have been together for 3 years so I had to accept them for his sake.
She tries to force me to eat, but I hardly eat. Eating is a thing I gave up on, I haven't ever ate much since my patents died that is probably why I have lost a lot of weight over the years.
I think maybe I just thought like they would see me going into high school, college, first job, marriage if it ever happened to me, but all I can do is hope they are looking down on me being proud of me.
Probably not though because I am a failure at life.
It's all just started to collapse on me and now I feel like giving up.
Maybe this earth would be better of without me?
Probably.
No one would miss me?
Correct.
I have no friends, no sort of family have contact with me, ever since my parents died no one bothered with us.
At their funeral no one would come near me. I didn't even get a "Are you okay?" Because as you know I was there daughter.
Maybe they thinks it's all my fault like, my parents done it for a escape to get away from us all, I mean me. If they were getting away from anyone it would be me.
Everybody hates me, and I don't remember what I did to them.
I get bullied by everyone in my school. They call me "faggot" "drug addict" "lesbo" "pathetic" "fat" I could go on but there is many names I could go on for months and I'm not joking.
Like, no one cares about me.
Everybody thinks I'm "fine" but they don't know the truth.
Truth?
Yes I've been living a lie.
But, I'm about to open up and let out everything I have been lying about for years and years.
