Casted

Chapter 14

Ben ushered me back into the trees while Chris and Alice went ahead, searching for another good camp. I was silent, and if Ben said anything, I didn't hear it. They were obviously all aware of my deteriorating mental state, as was I. There was nothing anyone could do or say to cure me completely, but they did manage to stabilize me for the time being. Ben took my pack from me and sat me up against a sturdy tree trunk. "Just rest a while," he told me gently. "You'll feel better once you're warm."

I just stared up at him blankly. My mind was numb.

But as it turns out, he was right- I did feel better after a while. Well, I don't know about better, but my brain started working again. I didn't feel quite so broken, but the more I came to my senses, the more embarrassed I got. Alice kept urging me to drink more water- she told me stories about her grandmother who would have hallucinations and mental breakdowns when she got dehydrated. That completely mortified me. That's what she was comparing me to? A crazy, schizophrenic old lady?

Chris made a nice fire right in front of me, while Alice offered to take her bow and arrows and hunt.

"That'd be great. Thanks, Alice," Ben answered.

"Yeah," Chris agreed, throwing more sticks into the flames. He flashed his perfect teeth at me. "How's that sound, pretty girl? A nice, juicy rabbit. The biggest one you've ever seen-"

"I'm not so sure about that," Alice cut him off shyly.

I looked up at her. "Thank you, Alice. Any food would be great." My voice was so flat, so distant.

She gave a tiny smile and then trotted quietly into the trees, bow at the ready.

"You know what sounds really good right now?" Chris went on dreamily. "Mashed potatoes and gravy. Oh, and what are those little vegetables called? The ones with the green tops..."

I stopped listening after that. I was so completely embarrassed to have them waiting on me like this, like I was sick and weak and couldn't take care of myself. Of course I was grateful, but I was supposed to be strong. I had to be. I couldn't have a breakdown when I was fighting to survive and keep my friends alive at the same time. They needed me to be strong, dependable. I could have a mental breakdown as soon as I got home, but not while I was still in the Task.

I stood up, shrugging the sleeping bag off of my shoulders, then emptied my back pack. I was going to help whether they thought I was fit to or not.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Ben asked, drawing over to my side.

I handed him his sleeping bag. "Helping."

"You don't have to," he insisted. I paused, studying his expression. I have to admit, he looked genuinely concerned about me. I realized suddenly that I'd never seen that look in Malachi's icy eyes, just a very convincing imitation of it- a façade.

I sighed and attempted a smile. "Ben, I'm fine. I just... my brain's just having a hard time understanding everything in this world. It's so different. Nothing makes sense here the way it does in the real world.

"But I'm fine now," I went on. "And I can help. I don't need you guys waiting on me like I'm sick and crazy."

He opened his mouth, probably to object, but I cut him off.

"I saw some Chervil back that way." I motioned from the direction we'd come. "I can go dig up the roots for us to eat."

"Chervil?" Chris echoed like he'd never heard of it.

"Yeah... the big green plants. Kind of like parsley."

His expression showed no recognition.

"The ones with the thick brown roots that look like a potato and a carrot had a baby," I went on.