A DIMLY LIT PROJECT(boyxboy, yaoi)

#8: "ONSTAGE LOVE AFFAIR: lonely"

"Good job, Jirou-kun." it was Nowaki-senpai checking for my designs. "where have you been all of my life?" 

"eh?" i just tilted my head. 

"ahh, your confidence is falling apart." he smiled. "don't worry, you can do it." 

He'll be using a steampunk era to a romeo and juliet set up of play? Okay, you may call him deranged but the idea is great. I like it. 

"okay, i have to do something, senpai." i said and went out of his area. I went to the place where Rin-chan and I used to hang out. She started avoiding me and if ever Yagami-senpai comes near me, i want to run away. I want to tell her that it's totally nothing... I mean she matters more to me. I don't know. 

"R-rin-chan!!" i called but she just walked past me. I got to find a way for her to speak again with me. But how? Should i abduct her and never let go if she resists? No! Baka! What was i thinking?! 

But i really have to speak with her. "Rin-chan!! Chotto!" i said and she ran so i ran after her. She's fast but i won't stop. No. Not her. I don't want her to leave me. "Rin...chan!!" 

I stopped. "Shimatta..." i held on my chest. "i... Can't breath..." not now! "ahhh... Rin-chaaaaaaaaan! If... You can hear me!!! I... Never want to lose you!!" i said and fell on the grass field. "Rin-chaaan!! Daisuki...." 

++++ 

The last image i saw wasn't Rin-chan. She might not heard what i said but still... I will try again. I was in the school clinic with Yagami-senpai. "That was reckless, Takano-kun." he said and handed me my glasses. "i was around the area... What were you doing?" 

"i..." i looked at the other way. "see, i'm..." 

"you are really something." he said as he attempted to kiss me on my cheek. I just had it. I never want to get beaten again so i just let him. 

"this is much better." he smiled. 

I hugged my knees. What should i do with this? Should i ask for Nowaki-senpai's help? No... I told myself that i can't. I can't avoid Yagami-senpai unless i transfer to another field. But... How? 

i went home like a loser. Looking at nothing. What if send her an email? No, it won't look sincere. I would not accept it if i'm in her shoes. I just have to get to her place and never leave her place until she talks to me. 

Ding! "right! Who is it?!" it was her. 

"Rin-chan, it's me." i said. 

"Come in." she said. So the gate opened and i went inside. 

That's weird. She felt scared when i saw her. "here." she said as she hands a box to me. Filled with stuffs i gave het for the last years. "I never want to see your face ever again. This is the last time you'd step into my house." 

"w-wait. Let me explain..." 

"i saw everything." she turned her back at me. "why didn't you tell me... That you and Yagami-senpai are going out?" 

"eh?" 

"don't ever 'eh' me like you didn't know what i'm saying!!" 

I just can't help it. I pulled her close and we fell on the floor. She was flat on her back so i went on top of her. "listen to me." 

"g-get off you perverted freak!!" 

"Listen! Yagami-senpai and i aren't going out like how you imagined!!" i looked at her. "i want you.... I..." i can't tell her... "He isn't interested in me... He's just... Making fun of me." 

"What?" 

In the end, i can't tell her. I just stood up. "sorry." i looked at the box. "i deserve this anyway. Sorry, Rin-chan and goodbye." i took the box away and started walking outside with weight bearing in my chest. 

I want to leave the theater club. But i can't... What should i do? 

------ 

We are still preparing for steampunk romeo and Juliet. I always come home later than the usual. We were always busy. Good enough to take my mind elsewhere. 

I went to Yagami-senpai's area because i need to take my break. I found him checking on today's progress. "this has finished faster than the last one." he said and turns around. "you seem to be so down lately, Takano-kun?" 

"no. I'm just tired." he sat beside me and he touched my hair. 

"Have some tea." he served chamomile tea. I like it so i drank and felt weird... 

"it's hot... In here." i said as i am unaware, i slowly loosen up my necktie and removed my coat. "senpai... Is it summer already?" 

I saw him grin. "no, my dear. It's not..." 

He took advantage of it by stripping everything off me. And i felt something. "what is that?" i sluggishly asked. 

"this will cool you down." he kissed me again. 

Thud!