Our brains are sick, but that's okay

Afraid

People ask me what I'm scared of
Some people will say
Heights
Or spiders
Or death
But how do I say that I'm afraid of myself?
How do I say that when I'm alone I have a feeling inside me that makes me hate the very essence of who I am?
It tears me apart from the inside out
Like a virus
Infecting every cell in my body
I'm afraid that one day I'll look in the mirror and decide life isn't worth living anymore
That one day I'll relapse into the trance I was in for so long
And have my sadness
Trickle from my wrists
But my head
Holds thoughts that torment
And hold me hostage
It's like I'll never escape
Fuck there is no end
Until it ends me