NOHOMBRO

Untitled Part 2

Alex Hamilton and John Laurens were always best buds. They loved each other. No homo.

" Hey bro?" Alex said tenderly.

" Yeah, bro?" John replied, matching Alex's warmth.

" I just want to tell you that you're my whole world, and you mean everything to me."

"... bro," John said, a manly tear welling up in his eye.

" No Homo!" they yelled at the same time.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John and Alex were going Man's Man Manly Tavern, to get manly drinks. They met up with their other friends, Mulligan and Lafayette.

" YOOOOO WASSUP BROS. HOW YA DOIN, FUCK ANY SWEET HORSES LATELY?' Mulligan asked in his distinctly Mullligany way.

" No, because unlike you, we have respect for the female species." John joked.

" Uhh... sure. I meant females. Not horses. DEFINITELY NOT. Yep" Mulligan coughed.

" HON HON OUI OUI BAGUETTE FUCK BITCHES GET MONEY CROISSANT." Lafayette said with a french accent.

" Oh, Lafayette!" Everyone in their masculine group said, even Lafayette, for some reason.

Then this bitch, Burr showed up. He's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Aaron Burr. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Aaron was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Kyle, he'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Aaron, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? He was a LESBIAN. So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him, and he came back in the fall for high school, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird, and now I guess he's on crack. So, anyway, Burr walked up to the testosterone squad and said, " HOW ARE MY BITCHES DOING?! OH MY GOD, HAMMIE, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN MONTHS! GOD I COULD SHOOT YOU BETWEEN THE RIBS RIGHT NOW, I'M SO HAPPY! HOLY CREPE, LAFAYETTE! I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU! I JUST COULDN'T WAIT FOR IT."

"... Hi Burr." John said tentatively. ( none of them wanted burr to be there, but they didn't tell him to fuck off. Which they probably should given how the night was going to go.)

~ 36 minutes later~

" SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT" they were encouraging Alex to take his 14th shot of vodka. Hopefully, he wouldn't die from it.

" LET'S GO ALEX!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! I MEAN... NO HOMO BRO WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" John said in a not at all gay way. Shut up.

" I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!" Alex yelled, downing the vodka. He coughed, then threw away his shot( glass)( lol u thought). All the guys at the tavern pulled Alex into the most no homo hug ever. God. There was so much testosterone last night. You should have been there. Man, it was glorious :').

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

" Ughhhgughggguuuughhhhhgughhhhgg." Alex said the next morning. Poor baby had too much to drink.

John was laying next to him on the couch, with his head on Alex's shoulder. ( no homo) "Bro, you need some coffee."

" UUUuuuuuufghggghghhhhhhhgh"