unspoken seperation

silent goodbye

I was still sitting when he offered his hand to me. Being kind once in a while,eh? Not a good timing Andrew.

He's keeping me steady all the time. I almost fell but i keep myself up. "Can you still walk? "

"Still two legs moving so. . .yeah " I said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Okay " He let go of my hands and leave me. I try to keep up but he's walking too fast. I stumbled and fall. Argg!

"What are you doing down there? " He's not even concern. I feel dizzy so i decided to lay down since he's not helping me.

"I'm fine thank you for asking " I'm still lying. We're at the park. Good thing i fell on the grass.

I put my hands under my head. Its like the stars are soothing me right now. After this rejection,this disappointing things. . .i really need this.

"You should'nt be sleeping there " I glared at him for a moment then look up at the sky. Arguing with him won't help.

Silence fills the air.

I closed my eyes. Smell of alcohol and taste of it reminds me if bitterness. Of how i wanted to erase memories i never wanted. Of Zack i wanted to be with but i can't. I'll never be anyone's priority.

"Why did you. . .", "I think i fall" We both said

"Go ahead " He saId sitting beside me.

"Why did you call? " Actually i wanted to ask him before he arrived. He knows i have a date. It just slipped in my mind.

"I have a date that time "

"You do? Glad to hear that " I really am. Its time for him to have someone who will love him. Maybe taking care of me is far enough. He should spend his time with someone. . .special.

"And you're not a gay after all " I whispered.

"She's annoying " Did he hear me?

"She's talking about herself the whole time. You know i'm not good at compliments. And she laughs at her jokes. It's not even funny.I got bored.So i decided to make an excuse."

"So you called,why me? "

"Here's a thing,I. . .i saw Zack."

"R-really? " That was a. . .hit! Bigtime!

"Yeah. He's with his teamate. I think he don't want to be there . But something's holding him back."

"He's dad. . .the game.Everything "He stared at me as if he's asking.. I know something he does'nt know,but i think he'll know it sooner.

I remember that day i saw him with this girl. I felt like melting at that very moment. She said something i barely heard. Then he hugged Zack. My body started shaking and my tears begun to fall. I can't move. It's like pain reveals its true identity.

After that,i was in denial. I kept on thinking maybe she's someone Zack knew for a long time. Or maybe my eyes taunted me seeing Zack,but it was'nt him.

All this time,i'm making a fool out of myself believing that everything will turn out right.

"It was just a game. He's just too busy with his game to acknowledge my existance. " That's what i want to keep in mind. " I'm too selfish to limit him from everything. I screwed it up for the two of us "

I have'nt notice myself crying againg.

"You should'nt be blaming yourself for that bastard. Its not your fault." He leaned closer to me keeping inches apart. He wiped my tears,he always does.

I closed my eyes,feeling his thumd gliding down my cheeks.

"I know it's a girl "

"Yeah,i know" I said calmly. We're both not shocked about him knowing what i know simply because.  . .i-i don't know?

"And yet you still love him? "

"I'll forgive him it he ask me to "

"Don't go running after someone who leaves and never looking back. You'll never know how many people are willing to stay behind with you "

"Look around you, many poeple loves you more than you imagined. We never leave you behind. I never leave you're side. Remember that if everyone betrays you, i'll be here doing what thousands of people should do for you."

I'm so speechless. I know Andrew can be pain in my ass. But what he said was right. He's always there for me. No matter how i tried to shove him away when he bullies me,he'll be there. Always and ever. Making your day a mess.

"C'mon.Time to go home." He kneeled down and offered his back. "Hop on,before i change my mind " YEY PIGGY BACKRIDE!!!  I missed this. When we we're a kid,Andrew always bringing me home at his back. I'm a wimp. I get bruises everytime we play. He will laugh at me 'till i cry then patted my head and give me a piggy backride.

"Bro? "

"Hmmm? " I can't utter a word. I feel sleepy.

"Do you really love him? "

Before i can say anything. He stopped and put me down. We're in front of my house. He patted my head then pulled me for a hug.

"Oh no you don't " i slightly punched his chest. I found myself smiling and hug him back. He's weird. He will make fun of you,call you with digusting names,drag you harshly and the next thing you'll he's hugging you.

He kissed me at my forehead before saying "I'll make you happy but i don't wanna risk this "

. . . . . . .

Time sure goes by so swiftly.

I'm walking down the corridor with a biggest smile on my face.Andrew used to poke my head when i'm out of myself. He said my mind went on a trip,rode a rocket ship and flew outer space. (is that even possible? ) I used to slip,trip,fall and bump my head. It gives him pleasure seeing me screwed up.

But now things change. Who would'nt be happy if a guy you love is holding your hands. I know it sounds crazy but. . . .we're back together-Zack and I.

He said he would make it up for me and he did. He even set a dinner date for me at the park where i can see clearly the stars. It was so romantic just how i wanted it to be. From the flowers,venue food and even music.

He told me Andrew helped him with everything.

Andrew. . .I barely see him. I don't know why. Maybe because of what he said last time. '"You don't need me now.Stay happy with him or else. . .'" sounds creepy right?

Or maybe because of his 'important matters'.

I heard he's dating a girl.

A girl. . . .

"Hey Bro!"

There it is again. That voice with thousand harsh words i love to hate.

 There goes this strange feeling again. . .

*ENd