THE ROAST!!!

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A month without uploading, he comes back with a tag,

That not one tagged him in, hes got a challenge to drag,

So prepare for an attack and by that I mean cringe, cause this motherfuckers bout to get dragged by his fringe..

First things first you're freakishly tall, its weird you look like a noodle, you've got hair that was cool in 2007 and wet you just look like a poodle (*Hobbit*)

Throw in a really annoying posh voice and, yup that's Dan, You're what would happen if Winnie the Pooh FUCKED Slenderman.

You procrastinate making videos because being judged is scary, you're so close to being forgotten, the hates imaginary.

The only reason you get views is you're another white guy that people ship with his friend cause they think its kawaii*-* (SEXY PHIL)

oh? (*reasons why Dan's a fail*) *yay* I'll give you some- (inhale)-

you never tweet you overeat all you do is cry and sleep your jokes are shit posts and memes with no originality your family's sad you flopped your law degree at university and anything embarrasing that's from your past you just delete. 

You were Vegan for about 3 weeks like what? you missed the meat? wow I'm so impressed by your by your clear moral integrity you try so hard to be peaceful and diplomatic but you cant toast without tumblr saying your problametic. (MASSIVE INHALE)

I could go on, theres more things on this list, than chins on your neck

On your birthday you joked you were a quarter way to death, a hundred? yeah

when getting out of bed makes you out of breath? so your celebrity crush was j-law but now its evan p? what the fuck even is your sexuality. 

its hard to put you in a box when you keep it so blurry, I think its just  to hid your secretly a furry..

*cough*(I'm joking.. Obviously)... ok that went deep..

repress it? yup! before I start crying lets wrap this shit up!

I'm gunna go and masturbate then cry into a slice of pizza.

shout out to all the other youtubers especially Ryan Higa,

A cringe compilation mixed with cultural appropriation met with no depreciation its the Youtube nation

Click subscribe, if u wanna watch 4 videos a year, too see my last one from 10 years ago click over here, so leave a comment with your reaction you can call me a liar.

cause you just witnessed the roast of DANISNOTONFIRE. BOOOOOM!!!

*Start hysterically crying*





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