A Dan-Fic

Losing Strength

I can't remember what happened last night at the party after Carrie broke the news, I do remember drinking myself into oblivion. I must have fallen asleep about 4 hours ago because I woke up an hour ago that's when I started vomiting. All I really know is what is what is happening now.

I am hugging the toilet, throwing up my guts. Dan is sat with me between his legs, his cheek on the back of my shoulder and he's holding my hair back, he's too nice.

     I'm still throwing up and it's 4am, damn it. My head is thumping. I have a hangover. I just want to sleep, I hope I haven't ruined Dan and Phils big day, I feel really bad.

Around an hour later I had stopped throwing up, well, there wasn't anything left to throw up really. So Dan brought me a paracetamol for my hangover. And we went back to sleep. He didn't say anything to me, I wonder if he's just tired or is he mad at me? Oh, god I feel so guilty; I hope he isn't mad.

      I wake up at lunch time, 1.30pm. My hangover is still there but it is not too bad. I'm making breakfast and it is now that I remember. Carries leaving. Today.

      I ditch my cornflakes and grab my car keys. I am running down the stairs in my pyjamas when I hear Dan calling after me "Brett, where are you going in your pyjamas?"

      I rush up the stairs and kiss him on the cheek and reply "I have to see Carrie."

He must know about Carrie leaving because he just kisses me back and says "Ok, but don't you want to get changed?"

      "No time, baby." And I run out the door.

I speed down to Carries house, slowing down considerably as I see a speed camera in the distance, I don't think I was caught though. When I arrive at her house I scramble out of my car hoping she hasn't left yet, I can't of missed her.

    I knock on her door and ring the doorbell. Carrie swings the door open and I fling my arms around her. She hugs me back tightly and I hear her apologizing repeatedly, she doesn't need to say sorry.

"When are you leaving?" I ask and we break our embrace.

    "Now." She smiles sadly.

"Not even time for a quick coffee?"

    "Not even a small one, I've been avoiding leaving to see if you'd come." She says a bit more cheerfully.     

     "Let me drive you." I say I want to spend as much time as I possibly can with my best mate.

"Sure, Brett, why are you wearing Pyjama's?" She asks me, laughing.

     "Oh, I only just woke up and I didn't know what time you are leaving so I just ran to the car, I was worrying you'd left without a proper goodbye."

      "Come on, we need to leave now." She said as she headed for my car, I grabbed her suitcase.

"Thank you" She said.

      "No problem." I smiled.

I started to drive and turned on the radio, me and Carrie were doing karaoke all the way to Heathrow. We were laughing all the way there. I parked the car in the car park and turned off the engine.

"So, you never actually told me where you are going." I've been wondering this for a while now.

      "Chicago." Oh, I am genuinly jealous."Well, send me a postcard! Wow, Chicago, I'm so happy for you, two months, huh!" I have a tear running down my cheek. I wipe it away with the back of my hand.

We walk together into the airport and as we got to the check in we just hugged. I could feel the wet from Carrie's tears on my shoulder, and I'm certain she can feel mine.

"Goodbye, Brett." I don't want her to leave.

     "Goodbye, Carrie." I don't want her to leave.

"I'll text you when I get there." I don't want her to leave.    "You better." I don't want her to leave.

Please don't leave.

And she left.

Goodbye, Carrie.

She turned to look at me as she went through check in and I waved to her. She waved back; and she went into the unknown.

I go sit on the plastic chairs. I feel like crying until I have no water left in my body and I do. I cry, and cry, and cry, and cry and cry.

Carrie was the one friend I could tell anything. I did tell her everything, except that I was scared. I wish I had told her, because now I am scared and alone.     I know I have Dan, but he's my boyfriend and I can't talk to him like I could talk to Carrie. Me and Carrie would talk girl stuff and I can't talk to Dan about that, I mean, he's a boy. I wish he was here now though. I need a hug.

People are starring at me. I can feel their eyes on me.

An old lady comes and sits next to me. I have no idea who she is but she puts a hand on my shoulder and asks if I'm ok. I just lean in on her and cry even more. God, I must look like such a loser; but I don't even care.     She is such a nice old woman. She gives me a hug once I'm finshed bawling my heart out and says "What's wrong, dear." Dear? Who actually says dear anymore?

       "It is complicated"

"I understand if you don't want to tell me, but you need to tell somebody." She's right, I need Dan. "What's your name?"

        "Brett, what's yours?" I ask, I want to know, she seems so kind.

"Isobelle. Brett, I don't know a Brett, well, I guess I do now." She smiles, and I smile back. "Brett, can I ask you a question?"

         "Yeah sure."

"Why are you in your pyjamas?" Good question, no wonder people were starring. I must look insane.

         "I was in a rush, I almost missed my friend leaving for America." This made my laugh, I don't even know why.

           "Oh, well, is that why you were crying?" She doesn't know the half of it.

"Part of the reason." I sniff. She hands me a hanky

            "I need to be going soon, Brett. Is there anyone I can get for you?" Oh, she is so thoughtful. I wish I had a grandma like her.

             "No, I can manage, thank you. Are you headed anywhere nice, Isobelle?"

"Just Australia, to see the grand-kids." I knew it! I knew she'd be a Grandma. Just jealous she isn't mine.

    "Well, goodbye Brett. I have a plane to catch, just promise me this..." She says as she gets up off the seat next to me.

      "What?"

"You'll speak to somebody and cheer yourself up." She smiles and turns and leaves.

I watch her go through the check in. Twice in one day I've watched someone leave me.

I pull out my phone and dial Dans number.

      "Hi, you've reached Dan! I can't answer your call right now, please leave a message and I'll phone back later. Byeeeeee!!"

Oh well, I don't really feel like talking anyway, I just needed to hear his voice. I will talk to him later. I promised.

I lost Carries strength, but Isobelle gave me more.

She made me realise I can have strength from who ever, even if they are a stranger.

Thank you, Isobelle.

You've no idea how much you helped.