There was a time when men were kind. When men would fight for their woman, give them their hearts and expect nothing in return. There was a time when men would chase after you when you turned your backs to them, a time when they'd give up their once in a life opportunities to chase after their once in a lifetime love. There was a time when men would sacrifice themselves willingly for their woman. There was a time when men would kiss away their woman's tears, kiss them with passion, not with lust. There was a time when men would sweep their woman off her feet and carry her around, doing anything just to see that smile on her face and know they were the reason it was there. There was a time when men would stop and stare at his woman, smile and than laugh because she would blush.
There was a time when man loved his woman.
There was a time when women were kind. When women would fight for their man, give them their hearts and expect nothing in return. There was a time when women were smart enough not to chase after a man that turned his back on her, a time when women would give up their time and dedication to their man. There was a time when women would know who was worth sacrificing everything for. There was a time when women would cry because of her man proposing, not breaking her heart. There was a time when women would kiss their men's hearts, not their privates. There was a time when women would fake their smiles for the sake of their man and hold them and tell them how much they mean to them. There was a time when women could make their men smile with their clothes on. There was a time when a woman would not be afraid to tell her man, that he was beautiful.
There was a time when woman loved her man.
Those times were over now. All the young girl knew was getting an education, coping with her own issues, learning tollerance, looking good to feel good, watching what she ate, making sure she took her pills every night. All the young girl knew was to never show emotion in another person, because showing that you don't care makes them not care, and she wouldn't have to ever worry about anything. All the young girl knew was how to be tough, not just say you are. All the young girl knew was to make sure that her razors, cigarettes, and money was hidden from the rest of her home inhabitants. All the young girl knew was to eat, clean, work, and repeat. All she knew was what her parents told her. All the young girl knew was how to come back with a response twice as harsh as someone else's previous judgements were. All she could ever attain in life was praise and friendship. But the young girl knew things that other kids didn't know. It made her different. She knew things only bigger girls knew how to do. She knew about how the brain worked, the processes that scientifically occured in the brain when someone was in love. She knew the tell-tale signs of affection in someone. She knew how to help people and tell them the truth, give them advice, and how to take care of herself. She knew how to lie about how she felt to protect herself from people. She knew how to act like a lady and think like a man.
She loved and hated someone at the same time.
The young girl knew more than she should about people because of her ability to control herself, process double meanings in sentences, and understand moods in their eyes. She knew when someone was lying. She knew that not many people would want to love her because no one could love her for the list of negative things in her world. Her world was in shambles. She didn't know what to do somedays besides lay in bed and wait for someone to text her, her motivation was shit. She had literally only one thing to drive her to get through everyday without injuring herself, or others. She had one thing to think about when she woke up, alone or not. She had one thing to think about to get her out of the bed in the morning. She had one thing to motivate her to do her homework entirely and to hesitate her bad addiction of anxious smoking and depressed drinking. She had one thing that was always in the back of her mind everyday, something that would drive her to strive in life. Something to give things a purpose. Something to make her smile when she thought about it. Something to make the pain of reality go away.
The young girl would one day be held by someone who treated her like she was his own motivation.
A man would love her like he would want a man to love his daughter. A man would be successful and love her and remind her and do fun and cute things with her. A man would give her the kids she always wanted. Love her endlessly and unconditionally, love her for her imperfections and she would be the Cinderella of his love story. Spend his forever with her.
A man would want to change nothing about her, but her last name.
This is what drove her every morning. The fear of loving someone was real, but she knew if someone loved her and fought for her, she'd be able to do it again. If someone gave her a chance to show how great things could be. Someone who wouldn't let her end a conversation in text when they fought, and understand she was sad, and tell her they were sorry about what they said and try to make things better. If someone could just kiss her scars and show her that by doing it to herself it would hurt him as well. If someone could really be there for her. Someone could just show up one day, surprise her out of the blue holding flowers and videogames and chocolate and some take out at her front door just because. The idea of being able to proudly walk with someone hand in hand and show him off to the world, kiss someone goodnight and have someone to hold her heart as she held his and keep their promises between eachother, was intoxicating. It drove her, the driving force of her everyday being was the idea of love. Not being in love although she was still stuck on some things from her past that would carry with her everyday, but the idea of simply; love. The idea that someone would make her so in love she'd realize that her life finally had a purpose, and it was to give her love to someone and make them happy, only to get their love in return.
She knew someone would love her. She just didn't know when.
