Random One Shots

dylan o'brien (H)

(warning -this is triggering so if you don't like depressing things / swearing pls stop reading here ty)

y/n's  pov.

this is gospel for the fallen ones

addiction , depression.

they don't mix.

my alcohol addiction has gotten so much worse. Along with my depression. I've never been at such a low point in my life.

24 , alone , alcoholic , depressed , barley anyone to care for anymore. Besides Dylan of course. He was more then just 'someone to care for'.

way more

locked away in permanent slumber

my father died a couple months ago due to his alcohol addiction.

guess it runs in the family.

I honestly hope my children don't end up like me. If I even have any. Or don't die as soon as I'm 'expected'. I really wouldn't mind though .

assembling their philosophies by pieces of broken memories

Coming home from work to get fucked up or go to a club and not remember a single thing is what's so satisfying about this. I don't want to remember anything. To just wake up to pain and sorrow did enough for me.

The gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds , but they haven't seen the best of us yet..

I've tried to open up to other people about this and most of them seemed to not care. They didn't see the best in me. They didn't think I could be fixed. Dylan on the other hand has really tried to help , he cares , and he believes in me.

He got me into rehab , which didn't even help. He's gotten me a therapist , some-what has helped me. He's always checking up on me to see what I need or if I'm okay . He's really the only one I have left .

I love him . But he obviously doesn't love me the same way I do. If we could become something more , that would make me happier. To have someone to help me build myself up again , to care for me , and to love me . Hold me in their arms and tell me 'everything will okay'.

My idea of happiness.

Dylan was planning on coming over today , but I have other plans.

I'm just going to end it all today . There's no point anymore. I just hope I'm dead before Dylan finds me.

*ding*

dyl - 'hey I'm on my way over'
me -'okay , see you soon :)'

God I hate to lie to him. But there's nothing he can do to stop me now.

I grabbed my pills from the cabinet along with a bottle of gin. I hope this will work.

I get out at least 20 pills and hope chugging down this gin will make me pass out and not wake up to see another tomorrow.

Here we go-

'Y/n ? , I'm here where are you'

shit

Fuck it.

'Y/n ? Hello'

I already feel dizzy , everything's blurry . I can still hear Dylan.

'Y/n what did you do ! Oh my god y/n stay awake please shit fuck-'

If you love me let me go..

'dyl , just let me die here and now.'
'no y/n , I'm not letting die here.'
'dyl , please '
'no , I love you and I can't let you go '
'w-what did you just say'

Everything sounds muffled and I couldn't focus.

I start to hear sirens and a ton of people talking. I don't know what's happening. I just hope I die before someone informs me.

Dylan's pov

what do I do now

the girl I love and care for could die right here , right in front of me.

cause theses words are knives and often leave scars the fear of falling apart

I can't let her go. And I can't lose her. I'd pay a million dollars to get her back.

Truth be told I never was yours

She isn't mine . She probably doesn't even care about me. But I pray to god she does.

Ive spent a couple hours sitting in this uncomfortable chair. Seeing y/n hooked up to so many IV cords makes me ill. I hate seeing her like this. It kills me.

'dyl ?'
'y/n oh my god ! DOCTORS SHES AWAKE'
'dyl what am I doing here'
'DOCTORS'

I've never been happier in my life. Just to hear y/n say my name made me want to jump up and scream like a five-year old on Christmas morning.

The doctors came as fast as they could. Did some check ups , and made sure y/n was well.

'dyl , can you please tell me why I'm here , now ?'
'you uh , tried to kill yourself , kinda thought you'd remember but I guess not.'
'oh , uh , guess I remember now , God that was stupid'
'hey , you're okay now right ?'
'yeah I guess so..'

------------------

It's been a couple years since that happened. Y/n has sobered up , gotten help , and , were married.

I guess dreams do come true.

A/n
sorry that was really depressing in the beginning 😅 kinda got this idea from the meaning of the song [honestly love p!atd yes]. Basically 'this is gospel' is based on Brendon's band partner spencer who was an alcoholic. Probably don't care but anyways this is my first update ? Hopefully I update more often lol [nope] byeee [again sorry this was depressing and triggering 🙂] strangerobrien   💜 ✨