The Spaces of Our Lyrics

Hind(t)rance

"This is not the way that friends behave. 

You lined me up across the room;

two fallen sparks, one willing fool.

And I always knew that I would love you from afar"

(From Afar, Vance Joy)

"You're young, you can have the world fall for your feet with just your charming attitude and that welcoming smile. Don't ruin your dreams and yourself for me"

"Alam ko naman po iyon, pero mas madali sabihin eh. Mahirap kung ang puso mo mismo ang kalaban mo"

"I know what this is. This is just a thirst, an undeniable want for a forbidden territory. A lust for something you cannot have. Don't let it fool you, not any of these are real."

"You think ginusto ko na mahalin ka? Sorry po pero hindi ako immature kagaya ng iniisip niyo. I've felt so much sa mga pinagdaanan ko from my past relationships. Kaya I know na this time, mali man pero nafeel ko iyon eh. Kahit hindi mo sabihin, damang dama ko"

"Makinig ka sakin, please. You cannot love me, I can't- I don't allow you to"

"I know how to handle myself, I know how to handle rejection, and I know what's right and what's wrong. Gusto ko lang malaman if after all this time, wala talaga."

"Don't let that fool you"

A shy touch of a hand, feeble touch behind your back. Eyes lurking, nervous glances to both sides. Hesitation. Fighting aggression.

We were friends. A good one in that. I was willing to help you with your problems and you were willing to loosen me up. There was a connection between the spaces of our feet and the words that leave from our mouths. But there was also an unforeseen force that lingered in the air we breathe. You inhaled it, quite unknowingly so but I could see it.

"Ok, ok lang. Thank you po for answering. If nagwoworry ka na gagawa ako ng bagay na pagsisisihan ko sa huli? Don't. Kahit masakit, mas pipiliin ko pa rin ang kapakanan ng pamilya ko"

It placed meters and meters of distance between us. That distance we try so hard to ignore. Because reasonably so, why on earth would one spend some time thinking about the situation when there is nothing to dwell upon?

What's up with all of these? What have become of us?

What hindered us from pursuing the friendship that started of extremely well and straight?

This is not what friends are supposed to look like.

The little smiles from my lips, the gratitude in my eyes. You've seen them and you requited them with your own ones. So much so that there was a spark igniting in your deep orbs. Such expressive eyes, such a beautiful soul.

In the vast capacity of our thoughts, one lingered far too exposed in your eyes. Realization dawned you and your eyes fooled you.

You became scared. You hid those honest whirlwind of emotions from the world and most importantly from me.

But it was predictable. More so that unknowingly, I find it so hard to look at you as well.

Because that is not how friends are supposed to look at one another.

Your arms and your touches; so honest and so scared.

I felt the tremor in the way you wrap your arms around me. The amount of self expression thickened the heat that wrapped around my shoulders. I felt cold, selfish for ever making you feel that way.