I haven't written in a really long time. Right now I feel really anxious and not so well. I miss my friends. My friends from school, my internet friends, my friends from HOBY, and my friends from my trip. I have a pit in my stomach. I feel sick. I feel empty. Im trying to calm down. The last few days have been pretty shit. I got back from my trip and was greeted by the sad thing that is reality. Moms still really bad. Dads still broke. Saadiq is still an ass. I still want to quit but don't know how. I leave for Myrtle Beach tomorrow which I hope is great because I need another distraction. (Australia was amazing btw) Edison is messing with my head , he tried to hard and it scares me. Because I know he's no good but I want a boyfriend. But I really like Chris, but Chris might not like me. Luckily Edison backed off a little once I told him I wasn't that into him but he's not giving up. Why is it the one guy that likes me is a douche? The groupchat is making. me feel weird right now. I feel like I act extra childish when I talk in it and idk why because thats not like me at all. I think its because I want people to like me, and I'm scared they wont like who I really am. Not that Ive been fake just extra. And I feel like everyone in it either is annoyed by me or annoys me. I talked to some of my friends from the trip today and it felt really good. This entry was a literal mess but whatever I just needed to let it all out. Goodnight 😘
