for angels to fly | lwt + hes.

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

It only took seven days.

Harry stayed true to his word, in a way. Seven days passed and he appeared at Louis’ doorstep every night, smiling and warm and Louis felt his heart give a little every time he did. 

He was there, and that was all that should matter. He wasn’t going to run away, to leave Louis aching and despairing and wanting. He was there. But then again, he wasn’t. Not in the way Louis had fantasised about. Not in the way his heart ached for. He felt stretched too thin; pale and transparent and throbbing, every beat of his heart painful. 

Harry always stayed just long enough for Louis to think, maybe; just maybe it was going to work. Maybe he just needed time and soon he’d be there the way Louis wanted him to be there. 

He didn’t hold back any part of himself when Louis was buried inside him, or in the soft moments afterwards when they were lying on Louis’ bed, panting and sweaty and sated. Harry smiled and glowed and Louis thought maybe it is all going to be okay. But then Harry was rolling away, mentioning something about Niall or Liam or ‘needing to be somewhere’. The steady push and pull of their bodies always ended with Harry pressing a soft kiss against his lips and a murmured excuse, an apology and a promise that he would be there the next night. And he was. 

But it wasn’t enough.

Louis watched him and didn’t say anything because he thought maybe he’d already taken enough from Harry. Maybe he’d already asked for too much. Maybe it was all he was going to get, all he deserved. If he had the choice between Harry hiding from him, elusive and just out of reach but at least there or Harry’s absence from his life completely then there was only one obvious choice. 

He couldn’t get enough, but Harry didn’t seem to want to give anymore. And Louis needed to accept that.

Harry tried. Every time Louis’ smile faltered or he pleaded with the younger boy to stay just a little while longer, Harry softened, his eyes turning tender and shining, and he curled into him and whispered something that made him laugh. Or he pressed biting kisses to Louis’ collarbone until Louis couldn’t think anymore. 

But Harry’s life was still Harry’s life, and everything that went with that was ever present and lurked in the dark corners of the room. 

Louis honestly thought that maybe it would be enough. Maybe it would be enough for him to just be able to hold the younger boy sometimes, to have a piece of him and have it tucked away inside his ribcage, humming in time with his heartbeat. To have Harry every night and get to touch him however he liked and then go about his life during the day. To mess about with Zayn and to skid into class just barely on time with a cup of coffee in one hand. To work at the bar and act like his life was okay. That he was happy with his lot.

He was better off than most people. Louis tried not to mope around and feel sorry for himself, because he genuinely thought that he would get used to the situation he found himself in. He thought it would be enough, one day.

And maybe it would have been, if he hadn’t allowed himself to want so badly. Harry had broken his heart ten times over, and sometimes he reminded himself of that fact just to try and quell the neediness coiled in his stomach. But it didn’t matter how many times Harry had hurt him, because Louis knew that he was in far too deep and his life had been irrevocably altered. He knew that if Harry just let it happen, things would be different. There was just something there that was too heavy with significance for the younger boy to handle, or to face head on. He looked at Louis with wide eyes, belying everything he felt but was far too afraid to say.