A.J.

u could have been killed

8 years later Dallas, TX

The Dallas heat was relentless on my light skin as I made my way through the parking lot buildings and cars all around me. I was lost in this big city and at times I loved the way the buildings looked like a bunch of beautiful ballerinas  some twisted and bent but all belonging perfectly on life's stage. I spotted my car and made my tippy toed walk over to the drivers side. As I stuck the key to my 1992 forest green Honda Accord into the door
my phone rang
"hello" I answered
"hello" The Voice rang back. It was Casey.
She was a tall voluptuous darkskin woman with a perfect white smile that could stop traffic. That's my best friend that's my best friend I mused to myself as I heard her start talking
So I called Donte yesterday and he is....
I didn't care. I stop listening
We had met years before in a group home for at risk kids. She was the youngest at 13 , and I was the oldest at 17. After our initial disdain for one another, the powers that be decided they had had enough of our pointless bickering and sot out to prove just how alike we were to each other. A series of unfortunate events led us to be the silver lining to each others cloudy days. Life delt us a hell of a hand that left scars only the other understood. We have a friendship that is undeniably eccentric. We both love it that way never letting anything time , states , kids , love or the lack of and even police stop us from being there for each other. She was my little sister as much as the one my mother gave me when I was eight. I thought back to Pensacola the place we met 8 years ago now. The same place where Casey still lived. She would only be in town for the next few months helping me with expenses while things come together with my book. Then would leave for the Eden of bright sky's and beaches once again.
My heart ached at the picture of Pensacola beach lighting hitting the water on a clear night entered in my head. I missed Pensacola.
Why am I here I thought to myself?
Looking around at all the hugeness of my hometown. Why am I here?
Big cities big opportunities
My mind went back to the meeting and the to blue covered manuscript in my hand. I shook my head. Casey's words rang in my ears. " and then he said ..." Her words trailed off she was telling me about her baby daddy and his latest act of stupidity. I was still standing there, key in door, strangers staring ,as they always did, at me
"what the fuck are you looking at??"
I spat angrily and loudly getting into my car
"what are you talking about" Casey demanded startling me as I plugged in my aux cord into my cell.
I looked at the phone. Laughed I forgot She was on there just that fast. I gotta stop smoking weed. I shook my head. I said nothing my mind was in another place. I looked at the glove box containing my herb and thought it better to wait until I got home to smoke. My mind was still in the meeting that I just left. Ms. Emma Andrews secretary called me last week to inform me that my manuscript had been read and that Ms Emma herself would like to sit down and speak with you I was beyond excited I was overjoyed we set the date and time said our pleasantries my mind continued to wonder Casey's voice sounding far away as if she was screaming from Florida not on my phone at all. I thought back to the frail older woman that had just sat across from me ,a large blue and white stack of papers 365 in total making up my manuscript sat lone on her oversized mahogany desk she looked at me pleased as I sat slinet across from her "IT IS TO DAMN HOT OUT HERE KAITLIN!" I screamed Caseys voice had scared the shit out of me. Casey and I both laughed. she already knew she scared me. It was safe to bet she tried. Did I currented still laughing "where are you at?" I finally asked when the giggles where gone . she sucked her teeth. "I'm going to text you the address to the park just meet us there" she said hanging up the phone
She'd always been so mean I chuckled to myself tossing my cell phone on top of my manuscript then I sat there waiting for the text to come in. I was staring at the manuscript thinking what do I do next. Ms Andrew's words fell back into my head "you're a brilliant writer" she exclaimed " this is a brilliant book but it's just blue. a little too blue don't you think you should have a picture of A. J. on the cover" she used air quotes as she said her name. she didn't believe me. I didn't care. she was there to pay and publish me not be my friend. "I don't have a picture of her" I said the words coming out sadder than I wanted them to "OH I see" she said slowly as if not to further hurt me maybe she could be a friend i rethought to myself "well I am going to need a picture of someone on the cover. I can set up some models" she said this reaching into her desk "that won't be necessary" I said quickly "oh you already have someone in mind" she said  "yes" I lied the truth was I know no one who look remotely close to the girl in my dreams but I figured I'd rather find it myself or at least someone who looked like her then have a whole bunch of empty headed women in my face trying to be her. I shook my head trying to get rid of the image. It did work thankfully.
my phone Buzzed Casey's name popped up followed by the words 'Fake Bayview park' laughing to myself at the inside reference. I put the car in gear and pulled out of the parking lot. As I started started towards the almost exact replica our favorite dog park in Pensacola but giving Dallas TX location instead of the bay there was a manmade lake. I debated going to get Mr. Mooman my one year old Chihuahua. I decided against it. It was hot Casey words came back to me as did the giggles behind my scared reaction. why didn't she just say that I thought waiting at the red light my mind ran through her distant words again. she had. Guilt tickled my chest and got caught in throat. Damn I wasn't listening, that been happening these days, since I started my book a year ago now.
I turned the wheel fast almost missing my turn. my phone dropped into the floorboard music causing music to Blair out the speaks the car shook but as the words of Ron Pope sang out I didn't mind the volume it was better then my own heavy thoughts "it's my fault I don't care I can't hate you if you're not here" he exclaimed
oh how right you are I thought to myself as I drove
the faces of many of my ex's danced in my mind
oh how right you are I thought again
I pulled up to the park there Casey was 5'9 chocolate skin showing in the places her royal blue sundress wasn't. We'd always joke that I looked her age ,21, and she looked mine ,25.
It was true I laughed as I grabbed my things making my way to her. My eyes scanned the playground waiting to see the mass of curls that belonged to my beloved and only God child Cherish. I spotted it her Brown Skin lighter than her mother's but darker than her father's danced up the slide overjoyed with her play.
Casey had her when she was 17 cherish was four now and it looked more like a father and acted more like her mother every day. I made my way across the grass to the bench where Casey sat. her eyes never left her child as she spoke "it's about time you got here! how'd it go?" my heart sank.
of course she wanted to know how it went I thought. I took a deep breath looking back at Cherish she had stopped playing she was looking at something. Casey's words came out before mine. "I'm so sorry girl. " she said "you're a wonderful writer! they don't know what they're talking about?! We will find someone who will publish it" she said now looking at the manuscript in my hand taking it she slipped it open reading a page for the millionth time I thought watch her "it's a great story" she exclaimed "and she's real" she added Breathless I shook my head I couldn't help the laughter as it took a hold of me "they said I was a brilliant writer" I managed to say through my laughs "oh you bit-" she began to cuss then stopped cold she knew there was more. "well" she said slowly as if picking out each word before she asked it "what was the deep breath about" she finally asked.
after I collected myself. My heart sank again. I always wished I can see my facial expressions in the reflection of others. Today my wish came true the look on Casey's face held the same troubled expression as mine. Miss Andrews words came back "it's just a brilliant Little Blue Book too blue" "I can set up some models." Maybe that wasn't a bad idea
I recapped the whole conversation for Casey when I was done we sat there watching Cherish I'm sure both of us wishing to trade places with her for a day mostly today
I shook my head sadly the image of the girl I described in the book danced in my foresight. "I do have a picture of A.J." I finally said sadly tapping my temple "in my head" I added. she looked at me face now baring same sadness as mine. she knew the story all too well. she had seen the girls I went through believing they were the one from my dreams. my mind showed the image of the tall multiracial stud with grey eyes that changed colors as if they had a mind of there own. She was the same height as Casey but bright like me. Actually she had about a shade and a half on me but who's counting that. I laughed at the thought. She would. I knew. I had dreamed of since I was six years old the girl for almost 19 years I have looked for my soulmate my dream girl. Literally. This girl I was starting to think didn't even know existed "look Mommy look" Cherish exclaimed excited little finger waving up towards the sky. I turned my head up. "I see them baby I see them. Aren't they beautiful?" Casey replied to her daughter mocking her excitement. The sounds of planes roaring above us came crashing into my ears. There had to be dozens I thought trying to count them. Damn was my mind that loud I thought as I watch the scene play out before me. it was a show of some kind planes zigged and zagged, ducked and doved through the sky at times barely missing each other leaving the crowd less than a block before us amazed. Casey n I had seen the blue angels air show in Florida before. So has good as they were the awe factor wasnt there. I heard something about skydivers next come from the speakers around the big colorful tent. we knew what planes were capable of but nothing about skydivers. About 60 people where standing around a large Circle painted in rainbow colors on the ground "hey look" my sentence trailed off as I realized cherish was no longer in front of us
my eyes scanned the playground nothing
"Where's Cherish? " I said Casey's head dropped from the show she scanned the playground while I scanned the the parking lot. nothing. panic hit my heart as I saw her massive curls standing in the median of the street separating us from the crowd her little body running fowards. "Oh my God" Casey's words rung out in terror we both took off. I was smaller and much faster. my bare feet hit the grass through the playground wood chips across the street hot cement breaking through the Rainbow Paint all in a blur. she was in my arms safe before I knew it "are you crazy" I exclaimed holding the gleeful child. Her inoccence  not fully aware of life. At her age I thought this was still her game and right now it was fun."you could have been killed"
She wasn't listening to me her eyes where on the sky above us. I saw Casey waving her arms from across the street but couldn't make out the words "look! look!" Cherish exclaimed wiggling free. I did and to my horror there was a skydiver coming right at us my tiny legs didn't move fast enough but she did.
She landed Within a few feet of us. Brightly colored fabric covering us all. I heard screams from outside of us. I laughed despite myself. We are fine I thought but remained silent for inside this brightly colored bubble another world came to be I stood speachless as cherish pushed brightly colored fabric above her head before gravity brought back down around her to her great delight. I smiled she was safe and happy. I turned my attention to the mysterious skydiver before me I meant to apologize I meant to say anything but I didn't couldn't for there before my very eyes stood the girl who had a brilliant blue book about her "hey I'm A.J." her voice rang through the space between like honeysuckles and the earth after it rains sweet calm and quiet. "Sorry about well actually-" she was cut off as the colors came up from around us to Cherish's dispare I picked her back up Casey's face was the first I saw she start towards us only to stop cold as the parachute revealed what was behind door number 2 I simply shook my head at the question filling her face her eyes going for. A.J. to me and back again she began to cry why are you crying I thought I should be crying the last part of the thought hung in my mind almost reaching my eyes as Casey's words scared me back to reality for the second time today. I didn't scream this time. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" SHE SCREAMED "DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!?" The question was all a.J.s and she seemed to know it. She stood same height as Casey with an toned torso her small chest hidden under the gear she was wearing but not even the gear could hide her hips thighs and an ass I knew all to well. My mind didn't go there as I stood there no my mind went to the freckle or maybe it was her birth mark either way it was on the third rib down the right side my mouth got dry all moisture had went to other places as I feeling my lucid dream came back. Her skin under my lips. There she was my heart sang out. A.J. looked amused by the sence playing out in front of her she is friendly I thought but I already knew that "HEY IM A.J." she mocked caseys tone but not much to Casey's liking the were come replace by a frown she shook her head and i did I she's always been so mean laughed watching the emts fire fighters and cops fill the space around us asking many questions taking to much my eyes never left A.J. as if they would glue her in place.