P.S. Don't Save Me

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Carson didn’t now how long he stood there trying to recollect himself. He stood thinking and trying not to think at the same time. He was aware of every hot drop that touched his skin leaving a red mark as it dropped down to touch the rest of his body. The water ran cold, but he still stood there, shivering against the shower of bitter droplets.

Who else got this email? Who else saw this video? Is that why Ashley was so upset? She might have it in the morning. More importantly, why the heck is Kristin doing this? Well I guess I’m about to find out.

Carson couldn’t imagine what he did to her, what part he had in these videos. Was it about the breakup? No, Kristin would have said something. They still talked at school and even walked home together. Clearly that wasn’t it. Carson didn’t want to think about it because every time he did pain shot through the back end of his eye and through his head.

There was a knock on the door halting the question swimming through his mind desperately searching for answers in vain.

" Get out Carson!" It was his sister Danielle. " You’ve been in there for more than an hour! Your going to be late for school!"

"I know you don’t smell that bad," she adds laughing.

Now, normally Carson would have shot back a witty response or an insult which would have started a whole new argument, but today he didn’t have the will power.

Danielle seemed to sense this because she asked, "You ok in there?"

" Yeah," Carson lied easily. He was surprised at the way his voice projected, calm and normal, but all he wanted to do was scream, "NO I’M NOT!" but he couldn’t.

He stepped out of the cold shower and into the hot steam that suffocated the bathroom. Staring back at him in the mirror was a reflection of a pale boy with sleep deprived eyes. How could he sleep knowing that somewhere out there Kristin maybe killing herself?

~.~

He was in science class, and for the first time in the history of his school years Carson didn’t want to go home, because he knew what was awaiting him. He knew that he had a choice, but he had to watch. He needed to know the part he took in this and he needed to some how fix it. Even though she might be dead by then. No. Carson didn’t want to think about that possibility.

He couldn’t concentrate again, and this time it wasn’t the hangover. Carson mind kept bothering him as it replayed the video for the fourth time that day.

~.~

Let’s get started, shall we? OK, guess who gets to be lucky number one? The one that pretty much started it all, Ashley Clark. Yep you heard right. My very own sister, but why?

" Yeah, please tell us why,"

She’s your very blood and flesh, should you love her. Wrong!

She was staring through the screen intensely. Carson wondered if the camera broke, just from the intensive stare of her fierce brown eyes.

She’s not my blood and flesh, in fact she’s adopted.

Carson knew that, but it was still hard to believe since Ashley looked more like their parents than Kristin ever did. Ashley had her mothers features and her dads anger issues, that’s what Kristin always said. Carson never got the bad side of Derek, their dad, to witness that anger. The only thing that Kristin inherited was her mom’s straight black hair while Ashley was left with a curly mess that somehow always managed to be fixed by the time she left the house. Even Ashley’s and Kristin’s figures were different. Ashley was petite and curvy while Kristin was tall and thin. Yeah, he had noticed and compared, so shoot him. He is a guy after all.