I considered all of my options, about what to say next - something smart, or something sexy - but I could not stay off of my doctor any longer. I wanted to kiss him, but he wasn't doing anything. He was just looking at me. I wanted to know what he wanted. I wanted to look away, but something was pulling me back. I felt the desire fade from my eyes and be replaced with confusion.
"John?"
"I love your eyes so fucking much. The vibrant shades of blue mixed together look just like the sea, painted onto an easel like artwork. I want to stare into your eyes for so much longer, Sherlock."
I blinked twice. I didn't know why. Won't you let me kiss you?!, I replied inside my head. But I didn't want to upset John; I already had done too many times. And seeing it inside him, on the verge of tears...
It wasn't worth it. It really wasn't worth it. I'd seen his face when he wanted to cry. He would purse his lips. He would start shaking. He would show no emotion behind a screen of tears locked in his eyes.
I knew all those times he'd wanted to cry. I'm known for my lack of emotion, but I know when someone else is feeling them. Some would say that was a sacrifice, of course I'd disagree. I suddenly did something I didn't want to do. I went to my mind palace. I was forced to go there - overthinking subjects like emotion makes me do that. I unwillingly went inside my file of emotions that I hadn't seen since I'd been a young boy. This file contained more and more files, each named after different emotions, and I went into a folder so dusty and rigid, it only moved because my thoughts were so powerful. I entered love.
Janine - I had upset Janine. She thought I'd loved her. She had kissed me with such passion and emotion before... well...
My parents have always loved me. They tried so hard to involve me in everything they do, they always did, but I did something wrong there too. Of course I did.
And then I thought about my brother, with slight reluctance. I'd upset my brother far too often - he loved me really, I could tell, but the British Government himself can't show his soft side. Your loss would break my heart.
My loss would break his heart.
YOU ARE READING
deduce me.
Fanfiction"In many ways, love is a drug, an anti-depressant." John feels that the time is right to confront his feelings for his friend of six years to him - of course the great detective has already figured this out for himself, but doesn't know how to deal...
