Don't Be a Baby

6. Why Can't I be Normal?

"So how would this work?" Perry asked without looking at Holly. She was sitting in one of her new office chairs while Perry sat behind her desk, setting up new programs. When she didn't hear any kind of response she looked up, cringing back when she saw the way Holly was looking at her.

Her eyes were dark and completely focused on Perry as if waiting for her to look up. "Perseus, would you say that you are closer to knowing the answer to your question after last night?"

Perry blushed thinking about the way that Holly had kissed her last night. It had felt like butterflies and sparks exploded in her stomach, her hands were sweating and her breath sped up. She nodded, trying to think of how to verbalize what she was thinking. "I don't think that I am...a lesbian." She spoke a little quieter but she refused to ignore the word anymore. "But I know that I'm..." Her blush became more noticeable but she decided to just come out with it. "I'm definitely attracted to you."

Holly nodded, accepting Perry's answer with a small smile. "I am attracted to you as well, little one." She leaned in, lowering her voice. "Soon I'd like to show you just how much I'm attracted to you." Before Perry could even process what she'd said, she was leaning back in the chair. "You aren't ready for that yet. Do you understand what we talked about last night?"

"I think so." Perry swallowed, feeling a bit like she was back in school. "You want me to be your little. You don't expect me to always be in the little mindset. There are some things that can trigger the little mindset."

Holly smiled, proud of how calm she was when talking about this. "What else?"

Perry bit her lip, trying to remember everything Holly had told her. "No sexy time when I am little. I can call you mommy if I want to but Holly is fine. Always do what you say or I get the timeout chair or a spanking."

"Good girl, what else?" Holly asked, looking for one more specific detail. This was the first time she had found a little outside of the network and she couldn't deny that she was worried it hadn't been a good idea.

Perry's eyes brightened as she remembered the most important part. "The details of our relationship stays just between us!" She was happy that Holly had insisted on this. Even though she had decided to accept herself for whatever she was and just enjoy whatever this was, she certainly wasn't ready to tell her family. Her expression turned serious and she looked into Holly's eyes. "I'm completely okay with keeping the whole relationship just between us, you know. I don't know how my brothers would react and without them I don't have anywhere to live here."

"I understand, Perseus, but please be sure that you aren't ashamed of this or yourself." Holly insisted. "And if by some mistake your family did discover what we are and your brothers kick you out, you can always live with me. Littles normally live with their caregivers anyway."

"Oh!" Perry said, smiling at the thought of living in that beautiful apartment. "Does that mean that sometime you would want me to move in with you?"

"Yes, but only when you feel comfortable." Holly answered, enjoying the idea of having Perseus available to her at all times. "You are new to this kind of relationship, I don't want us to move too fast and scare you away."

Perseus looked down, folding her hands in her lap. "You can't scare me away." She said in a small voice. "What scares me is what other people will think if they knew what I..." She hesitated, knowing that it would sound dirty. "What I want...to do with you."

Holly's eyes widened with interest. "And just what do you want to do with me?" She asked, curious about her answer.

"I... I want..." Perry froze, having no idea how to phrase what she wanted from Holly. "I want you to teach me all the...all those things you do in sexy time." The more embarrassed she got, the more childish she sounded and finally she just looked down at her feet, too nervous to look up at Holly.

"I believe you will get everything you want then." Holly responded, hiding the way Perry's words had made her feel with shining eyes and a lewd grin. "Just not right here in the office. That would be inappropriate." Holly stood and pushed the chair in closer to the desk. "I have to go and meet with a couple that wants to have their wedding this fall in Central Park. I will come and get you for lunch, love."

Perseus watched the door close behind Holly, her heartbeat going just a bit faster as her thoughts began to race. Holly's words, her saying that she didn't want to take this to fast and scare Perseus...it didn't matter, she was already nervous. Anxious. Someone could find out, someone from her family might find out. Like if she did this she might have a scarlet 'L' put on all of her clothing like Hester in The Scarlet Letter. There was movement in the corner of her eye and she looked quickly, breathing a sigh of relief, it was just her screensaver she'd created this morning. It was made of a bunch of photos of her entire family. Her family. Panic began to make her palms sweat and her body shake.

"What am I doing?" She whispered to herself, staring at the picture of her mother currently on the screen. "She would be so disappointed. She would hate me!"

She couldn't do this but she also couldn't back out of it now. She was so close and Holly made her so happy. Was it selfish of her to want to be happy? Why couldn't she just be normal like the rest of her family?

A/N Hello, little nuggets, if any of you are actually reading this. I'm not even sorry I haven't updated this/finished it when I said I would. It will get finished though.