The Truth & Other Lies

Dear Mia: From, Your Boyfriend

"You didn't." Casey stares at me in disbelief.

I don't even bother trying to hide my rapidly reddening cheeks. "I did."

She lets out a boisterous laugh and settles back against her elbows on the bed, a new twinkle in her eyes. "How was it?"

I'm honestly not sure how to answer that, mostly because Casey and I don't usually have conversations about my sex life. Probably because I haven't really had one for the past couple years.

But that changed on Friday night. And maybe it should have, because maybe I should have known better than to mix business with pleasure, but I don't currently care. Because in that moment last night, when he was looking at me as though I was the only person in the world who mattered, being with him was exactly what I wanted. So I know I won't regret it, even if it wasn't the professional thing to do.

I realize Casey is still waiting for a response and I want to be able to express to her the amazingness of what I felt, but I can't really seem to sum it up into a string of words, so I settle for. "Incredible."

She smirks. "I'm proud of you."

"That's a weird thing to be proud of me for," I reply.

"I just mean, I feel like you're really trying to expand your horizons."

"I guess," I shrug, turning back to the full length mirror leaning against the wall to adjust my necklace around my neck. "I think part of me was afraid that if I didn't seize the moment, I'd never get the chance again."

"What do you mean?" she asks, and I can see her furrowing her brow in the mirror.

"He's a rockstar," I explain. "He practically has girls falling at his feet. He can have anyone he wants. Plus, he's about to go on tour, which means we won't see each other for who knows how long, which means he'll probably move on."

In the midst of my bubble of happiness from two nights ago, I started thinking about the future and what kind of relationship Hunter and I could possibly have and then the bubble burst because I remembered that we came from completely different worlds and I'm not the kind of girl who has a love affair with a rock star.

"I see," she says quietly. "Are you okay?"

That's a good question, and I'm still not entirely sure how I feel, so I shrug. "Yeah, but I think I might have sped up the process."

"How so?"

"He asked me to meet him to talk." I might not know much about relationships, but that's never a good sign. If whatever Hunter needed to talk to me about wasn't a big deal, he would have just told me while we were texting back and forth Saturday afternoon. But instead, he asked me to meet him at the studio where the band was doing some last minute recording before leaving for the airport and their tour, which means he'd almost certainly going to let me down easy about the non serious nature of our relationship before he leaves for an extended period of time.

"And that's a bad thing?" Casey asks, not seeing the correlation.

"It is if he's about to dump me," I deadpan.

She parts her lips to respond, no doubt to assure me that I shouldn't be so worried, but is interrupted by a buzzing sound which indicates someone is waiting for me at the building's front door. "Who's that?"

"Must be the driver he sent," I reply casually. Nothing the impressed smirk on Casey's lips, I explain, "Hunter said I wouldn't be allowed into the studio otherwise."

I grab my purse and phone from on top of my dresser and head towards the door.

"Gotcha," she nods, pushing herself off the bed and onto her feet so that she can walk out with me, picking her purse up from the couch as we make our way through the common area. "Well, good luck."