MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE → regulus black

06.

DEATH DOESN'T DISCRIMINATE BETWEEN THE SINNERS AND THE SAINTS, IT TAKES AND IT TAKES AND IT TAKES

24th November 1977

Rose Selwyn felt like she couldn't breathe. Then again, that was the case most of the time these days. How was she supposed to breathe when they couldn't?

Her bag carelessly dropped on the floor, she sunk to the floor, leant against the dusty wall, and sobs wracked her body.

You don't know what you have until it's gone, that was the saying, right?
But she had known, she'd always fucking known how precious life was, you couldn't not, in this war. Every step she took was on a bloody battlefield. Fear was the only constant in her life. But they were still gone.

She was an orphan.

The thought made her laugh bitterly, and the sound echoed throughout the spacious bathroom.

God, all those nights spent lying awake, worrying about her fate in a world dictated by those her saw her as impure.

She hadn't even considered that her family would ever be in danger. Why would they be? She wasn't even known to any death eaters, or worse, You-Know-Who.

The attack had been random, that was what the Daily Prophet had claimed. When they burnt her house down to the ground, they hadn't known it was a mudblood's family they were killing. When they binded them with a simple curse, after hours of torture, and left Rose's parents and sister to burn, they hadn't known it was a mudblood's family they were massacring.

She wondered if they'd gotten some sick glee and happiness out of it, when they realised.

Her increasingly morbid thoughts were interrupted when the door swung open, and Emily Bateson walled through.

"Oh," The other girl said, after a long pause. "I didn't know anybody was in here."

There was another long, dragged out silence, as Emily stayed rooted in her position, and Rose in her's.

What a mess Rose must look, she contemplated. Tear-stained cheeks, and too bright eyes, it felt like that was all she was made up of lately.

"I'll just go," The girl gestured towards the door awkwardky.

"No need," She snapped, jumping to her feet, and angrily snatching up her bag from its discarded position. "I wouldn't want to be an inconvenience."

Rose pushed past her, pretending not to hear her bitter sarcastic response, and then she was out into the corridor, self-consciously rubbing her eyes in an attempt to stop the wide-eyed stares from other pupils.

Well, screw you too, she couldn't help but think. The day she'd learnt of her parents and sister's deaths might have been the worst day of her life, but damn it, at least she found out who her true friends were.

Emily and Dorian didn't speak to her for a week, claiming they didn't want to intrude. A couple of days later, she heard them complaining about how she didn't exactly make it easy for them, and god, why couldn't she stop crying, it wasn't the end of the world.

And then Marlene had been there, eyes ablaze with the fire Rose had become so accustomed to seeing in her. It is the end of the world for her, she'd said, and since when is someone else's grief about yourself? Fuck you.