Troubles And Teachers (Wincest AU)

Emotion Is A Snake, And It Can Choke You

((Trigger Warning: Homophobic Slurs))

That was a few weeks ago. Since that night, Dean has been a little weird, always sorta spacey when we talk. Distant. Then I noticed he was hanging around the substitute, Castiel, more often. Castiel became popular with the principal, so he filled in a lot more now.

I don't know why, but I started to get this strange feeling whenever I saw them together. Back in college, Dean would bring guys as well as girls home for the night, so I knew he wasn't all that straight, and that didn't bother me (never did), but it felt like I was losing a friend ....

"Hey, Mr. Wesson." Ms. Black sat down beside me at lunch. "I thought I'd see you with Mr. Smith."

Flinching, I laughed as convincingly as I could and preoccupied myself with eating my salad. "He's hanging around with that substitute a lot lately. Does that bother you?" Ms. Black inquired, her hand over he mouth as she chewed. I glanced at her. Since when did she become so nosy? "Um, no ... Not really," I replied, but even as I said that, I was looking over to where Dean was laughing with Castiel.

Castiel put his hand on Dean's upper arm and smiled in a way that could only be described as flirtatious. I choked on a crouton. Ms. Black looked concerned as she patted my back firmly while I coughed.

"You alright there?" she laughed nervously. Nodding and clearing my throat, I said, "Yeah, everything's just fine," before getting up and tossing away my salad. Didn't have much of an appetite after seeing that very obvious display.

Walking to my classroom, I realized I still had an hour to kill before I had another class. Eh, I'll probably just grade some papers, I thought. I sat down at my desk and rubbed my eyes. Man, I'm tired. I had spend a long time at the gym last night. Maybe a little nap won't hurt.

Closing my eyes, I lat my head on my desk.

"It's your fault, you goddamn faggot!" Dad screamed, throwing Mom's special vase at me. I cried out as it struck my head, causing me to tumble to the ground. Blood trickled from the newly opened skin on my forehead into my eyes.

"Dad, please stop! Please!" I sobbed as he grabbed my hair and shook me violently. He brought his face close to mine. I felt his breath, stinking of alcohol, harsh on my cheek, and I saw the rage in his cold brown eyes. "It's your fault your mother died, and it's your fault you couldn't save Jess!" he snarled. Then he tossed me away, and after a moment of darkness, I was suddenly in front of my college dorm.

Flames were ravaging the building and I heard screaming. I realized I was the one screaming. "Jess! Oh, my God! Someone help!" I yelled, but the people around me just kept walking, their faces horrifically blank. "Jess!"

"It's your fault," Dad's voice whispered.

I woke with a start as the bell rang and wiped my face hurriedly, ashamed to find tears smeared on the back of my hand. As my fourth hour students filed in, I sighed and started readying the assignments. My hands were trembling violently.

"Sam." Calloused hands placed themselves on mine. I looked up and my breath caught in my throat as I saw Dean gazing down at me with a smile.

"Um, Mr. Wesson?" a voice asked. Dean disappeared. Confused, I opened my eyes and saw I was standing in front of the class. I had stopped in the middle of my rant about Napoleon. "Uh, sorry, guys. Totally spaced," I laughed, trying to hide my nervousness. A few students chuckled and I continued my speech, although with less passion.

I clapped my hands together once the bell rang and said, "No homework for today, have a great weekend." The class whooped loudly and I smiled as I sat on the edge of my desk.

With a sigh, I sat back down in my chair and put my head in my hands, trying to swallow around the tightness in my throat. This heavy feeling sunk deep into my chest and I just wanted to lay down and sleep forever .... but I couldn't. I had a job to do, places to see, and things to experience. I couldn't just give up. Not yet. Not now.

So with that, I packed up my things and waited for Dean at his door like usual. Only, he didn't come out.

A good half hour had passed and I was starting to get worried. I finally decided to look for him after I realized his room was empty. The halls were completely barren of people except for a few passing teachers. I heard laughter coming from the Foreign Languages room and prepared myself for scolding students who were here without supervision, but what I saw were not students.

Castiel and Dean were sitting around the teacher's desk, laughing and smiling and looking at each other with heart eyes. A snake of emotion curled and twisted in my stomach.

"Dean," I said. My tone turned cold. "Castiel."

Looking surprised, Castiel just glanced at me before looking back at Dean, who looked like he was just regretting a decision.

"Can I speak to you, Dean? I'll only keep you a moment," I said. Dean's eyes told me he sensed the anger brimming beneath the politeness of my tone, but he was wordless as he got up and excused himself.

We walked into the hallway, a little ways from Castiel's temporary classroom. "What is it, Sam?" Dean asked, sounding irritated. I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. "I waited for a half hour, Dean. I was worried! You couldn't have texted me or something?" I scoffed, more confused than angry now. He rolled his eyes and the snake in my stomach flinched and writhed.

"Jesus, I don't have to check in with you every time my plans change! I'm busy, why don't you go annoy someone else?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Dean's eyes widened and his expression was regretful, but the damage was done.

Feeling sick to my stomach, I said hoarsely, "Yeah, um, okay ... I'll just ...." A lump had formed in my throat and I felt a prickle in my eyes. Dean also looked sick, but he just stood there, frozen. I nodded to myself and felt the trust I put in Dean start to chip away, and the walls I had around strangers start to build back up, shutting him out.

It was automatic, this reaction. He's going to hurt me.

He's going to hurt me .....