Cold Summer

Chapter Five

                  

Tyler

I can't get her out of my head. That dark, dull, pretty girl. That girl I thought was my friend. I don't tell Zoey about her when we talk. She's the first thing I keep a secret from Zoey. I feel like I finally have a life. Except that I don't. On the bright side I'm having fun. I'm relaxing and I'm always at the beach. Today though is not for the beach or snorkeling or watching waves or listening to the radio or admiring things like the sun. Today I'm exploring the town itself, I'll be wandering without a destination and without a map. It's not a good plan. It's not much of a plan actually. It's stupid and crazy and that's exactly why I'm doing it. I could end up with a hangover or with a friend or on a plane or I don't even know where because I know nothing here. That's how you find The One or The Friend or The anything, you just find something and it's so special and it just goes with The, because it's something of a difference and authenticity. It's rare. You have your The when you go out of your comfort zone. That's how you meet people and get a life.

I have my breakfast at the bed and breakfast I'm staying at. I would've stayed in a hotel but the finances are better when your living is less expensive, same way I saved money of the flight by going to a different airport with a cheaper airline at a far airport. That's why I met her. I leave when I finish my food. I smell the breeze and the fresh air and things are just beautiful. Even though the sun is burning hot and the ocean isn't calm but things are just beautiful. Plainly. And my first thought is, maybe today is the day. Maybe I'll meet her again. Gen Bell. Or maybe I'll meet someone else who will make me forget about her. But how can you forget such beauty? Even in the faint light above us in the plane and even while everyone was asleep and she was awake and even when she was quiet and never looked at you. She was beautiful. And I let my feet carry me and I let it take me freely to wherever it would like to explore. I free my soul and move lightly around this town of which I know nothing about. And I think about beauty. And I think about Gen. And I think about Zoey. And all my fake friends. I think beauty is only a very relative thing. I can say that Zoey is beautiful but another can say she's not and another might think she's normal with scales of a normal looking girl and another might think that she's attractive because of her charisma and another might think not. And this would go on and on and on. But what is always known and admitted to be true is that when a person's soul is beautiful and their mind is gorgeous and their habits are fulfilling, that makes them beautiful. In the eyes of those who know them. Or in the eyes of people who see beyond looks and appearance. Yet nobody ever mentions anything about having a sweet, sensitive tongue. And I don't know if it's because nobody has a sweet tongue any more or because words mean nothing nowadays? Or is it because they could be overlooked?

And I think about words and how they can kill without actually committing the crime itself. Of how they can heal wounds and paint grey skies blue. Of how they can turn your most beautiful dreams into your worst nightmares. Of how they can give you hope or strip you of it. Of how they have the ability to hurt you physically or give you butterflies in your stomach. Of how magical they are. How can such small things turn lives upside down?

One makes a promise they can't keep and end up breaking a heart and a promise.

One tells something they feel and end up with a person till the day they die.

One speaks honestly and they end up with words of disgrace and maybe a slap across the face.

And suddenly I'm aware of my surroundings and suddenly I'm looking around. And I'm in a very narrow ally and I don't where I am and suddenly some guy puts his hand on my shoulder and starts speaking to me like we know each other.

"Thank goodness someone is as late as I am, man, Doug would be so angry but no worries, let's go," and he's starting to drag me, in a friendly way yes, but he's dragging me. And I stop and I take a glimpse at his features and he's wearing navy pants that fit him well and a V-cut shirt that suits him too, and he's got a fair complexion and gray eyes I think and no hair. Black framed glasses and he's staring at me like I'm some kind of freak.