The Alexandra Chronicles ¤ Derek Hale

Chapter 13

"I really am sorry about basically ditching you the other night." I apologized to Nick as we walked through the empty hallways toward the cafeteria. We would have already been there with Cassidy, Riley, Hannah and Jared, but I had to stop by the library and get a book I needed for the history report due next month. Nick insisted on walking with me, and I couldn't exactly object. For one, Ethan's been keeping his distance if he was around, and for two... he was actually a nice guy. I wasn't sure if he and I would ever be anything more than friends, but I still enjoyed his company.
"Alex, you've already apologized three times," Nick reminded with a smile. "It's alright, I get it. Family's important to you."
"I just don't want you to think I ditched because I wasn't having fun," I said.
Nick glanced at me. "Well, were you?"
I smiled to myself, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. "Actually... yeah. It was the most fun I've had in a while, to be honest," I admitted.
"Well, maybe next time you and I can go out ourselves," he suggested. "Just the two of us, I mean. Like... a date." I was trying to figure out a nice way of telling him I wasn't sure that I was ready to start dating. I just got out of a two and a half year relationship a month or two ago, and even though I didn't want to go back to Ethan I wasn't sure if I wanted to jump back into dating again. Especially with everything that's been going on. Maybe being single is what's best; that means there's one less person that could get hurt. "Alex? What do you say?" Nick asked me as we rounded the corner.
But then I see my brother sitting against a wall by himself. He looks pretty torn up and he hasn't even touched his food. I sighed; the break-up was hitting him pretty hard. "I'll think about it," I told Nick. "Hey, I'll catch up with you later, okay?"
Nick frowned. "You're not coming to eat lunch with us?" I nodded my head toward Scott as a response. When Nick saw how bummed he looked, he nodded in understanding. "I'll see ya later then."
"See ya." I stood and studied Scott as Nick entered the cafeteria, frowning in concern. His jaw clenched and he began banging his head off of the wall suddenly. Maybe he was listening in on someone's conversation. Glancing through the window in the cafeteria's door, I caught a glimpse of Allison and Jackson talking to each other. "Planning on cracking the bricks in the wall?" I said light-heartedly as I walked toward my brother. Right as I finished saying that, Scott slammed his head against the wall again and actually did crack it. I pursed my lips and sat down next to him quietly. For a moment, we sat in silence together. "It's her loss, you know." Scott snorted, but he didn't respond. I sighed. "Scott, you did what you did to save her. Maybe one day she'll understand that," I told him softly. "Until then, you just gotta take it one day at a time."
Scott considered this. After a moment, he spoke. "I can't even look at her without feeling like something's tearing my chest apart," he mumbled. Then he looked at me. "Did it hurt like this with you? When you broke up with Ethan?"
I smiled sadly. "Our break-ups are entirely different," I reminded him. "But... when I found him with Kendra? Yeah, it did. And for the longest time, I just kept thinking - What's wrong with me? Why couldn't I be enough for him?" I shook my head. "After a few weeks I finally realized that there was nothing wrong with me. Ethan and I... we just weren't right for each other. Maybe you and Allison aren't, either. And that's okay. You learn from it, and you move on."
Scott sighed. "But I don't wanna move on," he said miserably. "I love her, Al. It's just- it's real with her."
"Except that it's not," I responded evenly. Scott glanced at me and I shrugged. "There's a huge part of you Allison knows nothing about, Scott. Until she knows about it, until you two are on the same page with each other... it will never be real." I paused. "Granted, her family are hunters - but if you love her, and you trust her, maybe you should try and talk to her about it."
"You know I can't," Scott told me. "It's too dangerous. She could tell her dad and he'd come for me."
"Well," I said, "that all depends on whether or not you feel like you can trust her." Scott looked at me, but he couldn't seem to find anything to say as he considered my words. I sighed softly and took one of his hands in both of mine, squeezing it. "I just want you to be happy, Scott. I don't like seeing you torn up like this."
"I know," Scott murmured. "I just feel like... I mean, Allison's just... I love her. I don't want to let her go."
I hummed quietly as I thought of what advice I should give him. Scott doesn't talk to anyone much about things like this, so the fact that he was opening up to me like this made me happy. Stiles might be his best friend, but he wasn't exactly the most sympathetic, nor was he too well-versed when it came to break-ups. Other than him, I'm pretty much the only other person that Scott has. And I've never seen him as happy as he was when he was with Allison. "So don't," I said finally. "Don't let her go, Scott. You're a sweet, kindhearted guy. It shouldn't be that hard for you to win her back."
Scott seemed shocked that this was my advice. "You're not -- you know, glad that we're not together?" He asked me in surprise. "I mean, 'cause her family are werewolf hunters?" I just looked at him and he cleared his throat. "I just thought... you know, you and Derek seem to think a lot alike, so..."
"Like I said, Scott, I want you to be happy," I told him. "Allison makes you happy. If you trust her, and you think it will be okay, then I say go for it." I shrugged. "Personally I'm not too fond of the werewolf-hunter thing... but I can't be selfish enough to ask you to stay away from the girl you love."
For the first time today, Scott finally smiled. "Thanks, Al," he said, throwing his arms around me.
I blinked. "For what?"
"For being here for me," he answered as I hugged him back. "For understanding me. For loving me."
I smiled softly. "I'll never turn my back on you," I murmured, and I don't think I've ever said anything more honest than those seven words in my entire life.