I Don't

Chapter 1_ Please don't make me do this

EDITED
HEYYYY GUYSSSSS!!!
This is my first chapter, don't worry, there are more to follow but in the mean time give this a read and let me know what you think in the comments! Thanks!
Happy reading!! <3
____________________________________________________________I froze. Paralyzed by my mothers words. She can't do this to me. She wouldn't. This was just some cruel prank that I'll get angry about now and laugh about later, right? Theres no way my own mother would sell me away like that, she is my mum after all. Im her own blood. I'm her child.

"I don't care wether you want to do this or not, its happening and unless you want me to kick your lazy ass out, your gonna marry the boy, alright?" My mother snarled, you could see the disgust and hate plastered all over her face. I knew she couldn't stand me, to her I was just a constant reminder of her deceased husband, my dad. He was my best friend, we did everything togther and him and my mum were crazy in love. Dad adored mum and like wise. I can still remeber the doctor walking in the room, and with an expressionless face, he told us my dad was dead. Drunk driver, we were told.

I blinked once, twice. three times.

I just stared at her stunned, shocked and hurt by her words. She would kick me out? I knew I was nothing to her, but even that was a low blow. This was bad.

"How could you?" I whimpered, my voice cracking at the end. My mother took a step back, beyond shocked at my choice of words, "I'm your own blood, I'm your god dam daughter and you're just going send me away to marry some guy I don't even know! What if he's a creep?! I mean, I get it, you hate me but for gods sake women even for you this is low, real low. Why are you doing it? Money? So you don't have to see every day? Do I remind you of him? Is that it?"I scream, im not hurt by her words anymore, I was angry. I was dissapointed."I loved him to! Do you have any idea how broken I was when he died? " I ask her, I'm shaking now, I'm so angry Idon't even notice the salty, wet tears streaming down my face. "Of course you don't, cause you were never home! I was left to cry on my own with not a single person to comfort me! How could you! " I screamed while tears poured down my cheeks, one after the other they fell, dampening the collar of my tank top.

My mother just stood there and stared at me. Nothing but guilt and sadness in her eyes, but this just angered me more. The woman was like the weather, constantly chopping and changing.

"I'm sorry..." She began, but I cut her off.

"No" I spoke "Sorry worked when you "accidentally" broke my guitar. Sorry worked when you told me you never loved me and I should have died and not him, Sorry worked when you destroyed the only pictured I had left of dad because i wanted to celebrate his birthday, even though he wasn't here to celebrate with us But for something like this, sorry just doesn't cut it. Your signing me away to someone, just like I'm some sort of animal. But that's all I am to you isn't it mother? An animal that you can bully and push around. Not any more, I'm done! I hate you! And do you kow what? I wish I had died to, cause at least I Wouldn't have to deal with you!" I screamed. I was a mess now my face was soaking wet with tears and I was shaking uncontrollably. How could she do this to me? I'm not a god damn animal!

And just like that my mothers guard that she had finally let down, the guard that hid all her emotions, was back up.

"I don't care what you want!" She shouted, which ony made me cry harder.

"Don't you think I know that?" I shouted back. It was true, ever since dad died she had made sure i knew it.

"Don't you dare raise you voice at me!" She hissed.

" Please don't make me do this" I begged silent tears fell down my cheeks" Please don't, please don't take away my freedom. Don't make me marry him mumma please I'm begging you! I will leave! you wont see me ever again!Please don't make me, please-"

"ENOUGH!" She screamed, I jumped back shocked her eyes were filled with anger and hatred. However they softened straight away" Your marrying him tomorrow and that's final" She sighed before turning and leaving me all alone, as usual, to deal with my haunting thoughts and nightmares to come.