Chapter Twenty One
Kimberley just looks at me. I can’t tell what she’s thinking. She isn’t smiling, but she doesn’t look angry.
The silence is killing me. ‘Kim?’
‘Why?’
‘What?’
‘Why did you call him?’
‘I… because I –‘ I start waffling, needing to explain fully. ‘The computer was still on when I went home to change one day, and I just… got the number of the bar and rang it. I thought… he’s your family, and you needed him, and I was so scared you wouldn’t come back to me…’ I feel myself start to cry again. ‘I thought if you heard his voice, you’d come back. And I thought you needed him, I did it for you.’
Kimberley raises her hand to my face and catches a tear. ‘Don’t cry, Cheryl. I’m not angry.’
‘You’re not?’
‘No. I’m… I’m kind of… scared. Where is he now?’
‘He – he went for a walk… why are you scared, babe?’
‘Because… because of last time I saw him… I’m just scared to see him again.’
‘He doesn’t hate you.’ I tell her quickly. ‘He sat here and he told you he was sorry, and he needed you to come back so he could tell you that.’
‘I think I heard his voice.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Yeah… I think I heard you too. And… and music.’ Kimberley goes slightly red, as if this is a ridiculous admission.
‘Oh my God, you heard it?’
‘What?’
‘We… we played music, for ages now… never mind, it’s not important.’
‘It is to me.’
I lean over her and grab the pile of discs we’ve been playing, never letting go of her hand. Kimberley takes them and spreads them out across her lap. ‘I heard Oasis.’
‘Yes!’
‘Did you do this?’ Kimberley smiles.
‘Yeah, I was--’
We hear the door creak open and both look up. Adam walks in looking at the floor, then stops dead when he sees us, sees Kimberley awake, sat up, talking, moving. ‘K-Kimberley?’ he gasps.
Neither of them speak. They just stare at each other. I look awkwardly from one to the other and grasp Kimberley’s hand. ‘D’you want me to leave for a bit babe?’ I whisper. Kimberley shakes her head, still looking at her brother. ‘Hi Adam.’
The acknowledgement acts like a trigger. Adam runs forwards, stops again, then sits on the edge of the bed and wraps his little sister in his embrace, breaking down.
Kimberley glances at me, let’s go of my hand and hugs him back, closing her eyes. ‘I’m sorry Kimmy.’ Adam sobs. ‘Oh God, I’m so sorry.’
I stand up to leave, but it’s like Kimberley senses it. Her eyes open. I gesture that I’m going outside with a smile, and she nods once and mouths ‘thank you.’
**
Kimberley
As soon as Cheryl leaves, I want her back. I know she wanted to give me and my brother some space, but I feel better when she is here. Adam is holding me a little too tightly, and crying. I don’t know what to do when he cries, I never did. He turns around when he hears Cheryl leave, and looks back at me, rubbing his eyes. ‘You’re awake.’
‘Apparently.’
I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t know how I should act. He holds both my
hands, staring intently at me. ‘How do you feel?’
‘Erm… I don’t know. Strange.’
‘It’s really good to see you again.’ He says sincerely.
‘Is it?’
‘What? Of course. I was so worried about you…’
‘When?’ I snap. I can’t help myself. When I first saw him, I was so happy he was here, but at the same time I can’t pretend everything’s fine. ‘When were you worried about me? When I left? Or just when Cheryl called you and told you I might die?’
‘Kimberley… come on, sis, let’s not--’
‘No, Adam, I’m not gonna act like everything’s suddenly perfect, because it’s not. You didn’t give me a second thought until Cheryl spoke to you.’
‘That’s not true--’
‘I kept my phone, Adam. It hasn’t rang once. Not once.’
‘Well you wouldn’t’ve answered if I’d called you, would you?’ he argues.
‘That’s not the point, Adam.’ I whisper. ‘I would’ve known you still gave a sh*t about me, at least.’
