get with the program - bender x reader

that thieving jackass

(A/N: Hiya! This is one of my first stories, so constructive criticism is appreciated and encouraged!! Let me know if any of the characters are OOC. Otherwise, please enjoy!!)

You first met him outside a bar on a dingy street in the evening. When you entered, he left, and bumped into you without apologizing on his way out. And when you went to pay for your drink, you found your money, and wallet, gone.

"Damn it all," you cursed quietly under your breath. Then you decided to follow his lead and purposefully tripped a staggering––and obviously drunk––human. When you went to help him up, you slipped your hand in his pocket and snatched the little money he had.

"Whatever. It'll do." You pay the bartender with the stolen cash before chugging the entire beer and leaving. Of course, not without picking a few more pockets. Your curse that robot (and yourself, for falling for one of the oldest tricks in the book) and resolve to find him and wipe off the stupid smug look that you're sure must be on his face.

It turns out he isn't a very hard robot to find. You get your first job in days when the phone rings and you get a request for dealing with a robot with a virus. Apparently their usual mechanic is out on business. (Something about Mars and a professor... you don't really pay attention to the details.)

When you arrive at the address they gave you ("Planet Express" the sign says), you knock on the door once before letting yourself in (fools left the door unlocked). You walk through the entrance hall to a living room, where, lo and behold, is the robot who took your wallet, wallowing in misery on an ugly mustard yellow couch.

"YOU!!" you let out a growl and he squeals a bit as you move quickly across the floor to him.

"You thought I wouldn't notice when you stole my wallet!? Think again, pal!!"

You would've dented his head in right then and there if a pair of humans hadn't walked in at that very moment, looking quite confused at the scene unfolding before them.

You narrow your eyes at him. "You're one lucky bastard that I'm here to fix you, not break you." You stare pointedly at him before turning to the new arrivals.

"Hello. I'm the mechanic you called? I apologize for barging in on you like this, but no one answered the door, and this matter seemed rather urgent."

Out of the two of them, the cyclops seemed to recover more quickly. "Oh! Sorry about that. I'm Leela. This right here is Fry," she gestures to the gaping boy next to her, "and I see you've already met Bender." The robot on the couch moans pathetically.

"Yes, I'm sure he's become quite well acquainted with my wallet after we first bumped into each other," you say, gritting your teeth into a forced smile.

Leela sighs. "Sorry about that. I'm sure Bender will give it back once he's better. Right, Bender?" She says the last bit through clenched teeth.

He chooses to ignore her in favor of bemoaning his current state. "You gotta help me doc, I think I'm dying!!"

"Well, I suppose I'd better get to work then," you say as you start unloading your tools.

The orange-haired boy who has yet to say a word, Fry, suddenly speaks up "You can fix him, right?"

You laugh. "Is the universe infinitely expanding?"

"...Yes?"

"Well, there's your answer."

You unceremoniously throw open Bender's chest door, shut him down, and begin your examination.

At some point, Leela and Fry leave.

When you finally identify the infected part and eradicate the virus, you breath a sigh of relief. It was harder than you thought, but at least it's over. You pack up your tools and begin to close him up, when suddenly a thought occurs to you.

You feel your way around Bender's storage area before you find what you're looking for. Your wallet. You pocket some additional cash to pay for the cost of your services.

Fry walks in just as you're stowing the money away. You quickly boot Bender up and close his hatch.

"Is he better now?" Fry asks.

"Should be. Unless I screwed something up," you say casually. "I don't think so, but I don't know him like you do. Let me know if he seems off at all the next couple of days. I'll come back in a week for a follow up appointment."

"Hey!! Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Said robot whines. By now he seems to have fully woken up.

"Oh, hey, you're awake. Fry, would you mind getting Leela?" You don't trust Fry to remember what you told him. Leela seems much more reliable.

"Oh, sure. Hang on, I'll go get her."

Fry leaves, and you and Bender are left in an uncomfortable silence.

After a few moments, he breaks it. "I don't care what Leela told you, I ain't giving your wallet back. I stole it fair and square!" he says.

"That's fine. I already took it back while you were knocked out." You fiddle with some of your tools, trying to seem nonchalant, glancing up for his reaction.

He opens his hatch and rifles through his stuff. "Hey! That's not all you took. Gimme back my money!!" He scrambles at you, attempting to take it back with force.

You easily resist his advances and shove him back to the other side of the couch. "I stole it fair and square," you echo smugly, trying to hide your grin.

You two don't have any more time to argue with each other because Leela and Fry reenter the room seconds later. You stand up and relay the same information you told Fry a few minutes ago to Leela and accept her payment (she didn't need to know you'd already billed Bender) before grabbing your tools and strolling out the door, but not before saying goodbye to a certain robot.

"LATER TIN CAN!!" You make sure to slam the door on your way out. You hear muffled cursing, and you grin. He might've stolen your wallet, but maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all.