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Hi... (possibly triggering)

+*<WARNING, THIS MAY BE TRIGGERING IF U ARE AS FUCKED UP AS I AM OR EVEN WORSE IT IS BEST THAT U DONT READ THIS PART OF THIS BOOK..... THANK YOU AND ENJOY - (if u enjoy others pain or reading fucked up shit)>*+

hey, y'all im still here so yay that right?... but yea idk what to do anymore.... anyways I've got exactly 28 days until school starts... yay i guess cuz i kinda like school but yea... uh just wanted to checkup and see how all my beautiful people are doing... comment something and maybe we could be friends i love talking to y'all kewl peoples so hmu lol but yea....

i may have slipped up on the "cutting thing tho... i promised i wouldn't and i was clean fr almost a whole year but of course me being me got all in my emotions not wanting to feel shit at all rally so i made it all go away ad honestly i dont even know why i do it anymore see i use to want to die just straight up not wanna be here anymore but then i found my pourpose or at lest my calling for the moment i just cant help it tho the cool blade gliding across my skin.. i fuckin preach to everyone else about how if u truly wanted o be ok or truly wanted to get clean u would get help yet i claim to want to get better so bad and still cant seem to muster up the courage to tell anyone that i need help like i know i do but i cant admit it out loud.... and the only person i could talk too has yet again been another person who left me and its actually all my fault i cant even take this i want it all to end but i dont wanna die and i cant get help i fell like all of the signs are obvious tho... and my mom finally addressed my scars and was acting all high and mighty cuz she used to cut and got clean but it may have been easy for hr cuz they drugged her out of her shit shes has Manic depression disorder tho and is literally clinically diagnosed as fucking psychotic but idfk.... i just needed to vent on the situations at hand atm..... love the pain it may kill u or help u grow stronger, Right?... lets hope this doesn't kill meh even tho im already filled with this emptiness....

but fuck the world im still trying to help ppl but thats kinda hard considering i need help myself and i sound like a lil bitch rn cuz alot alot of people have it way worse than me... but this a judgement free zone and if ya wanna be a lil judgemental prick fight me betch!!!! bt back to what i was saying the only i fend up finding happiness is within others and that sounds like it goes against everything that i am... but seriously i love making ppl happy an making ppl happy is what gives me some happiness at least and i love helping ppl too it fills somewhat of the whole that i have inside me.... anyways yea byyyeee

Until next time,
Be you, Stay true, And remember to love the pain it may kill you or help you grow stronger, Either way you are escaping this hell...

(NEW PICTURES QUOTES AND SHIZ IN THE NEXT CHAPTER I PROMISE)

oh yea and what i forgot too mention above is my mom said if she finds anymore scars or fresh marks shes gonna hoop my ass and im just like hoe u dont own me and i cant exactly just go ok well since this bitch told me too stop i will and i now have to go thru 2 full body searches a month.. at least she didnt send me to the crazy house where i get put in straight jacket or some shit and doped up o meds idk.. actually would that be so bad because technically im a danger to myself and possibly others.. maybe i should let her take me to the crazy house... lemme know what u think im actually considering this.... but yea... bye fr this time... yea <3

if im gay and they put me in a straight jacket is that discriminatory?... sorry i wanted to lighten the mood since y'all just read some really messed up shit... ok seriously bye... yea.