Even After Death

Chapter One

    My story isn't some fairy tale with a happy ending. No, there isn't happy ending at the end of this story honestly; truth be told it's not terrible, but not really a happy ending. 

     Can you imagine for a moment; the love of your life, your high school sweetheart, the boy of your dreams. Dead. Not by murder, or disease, but by suicide. And while you watched. Watched as  the blade tore through his skin, though you were helpless to stop him. Watched as he took way more sleeping pills then he should have, saying he was tired and that he just wanted to go to bed and that he'd talk to you the next day. Watched through a video call as his chest stopped rising, his eyes closed, blood seeping through the bandages you made him put on. Crying as you hang up, calling his mother as your brother finally comes home with your car and you drive insanely to his house.

  I would have never imagined it, or...thought that would ever happen to me. To stand there by his coffin, with his cold body inside as I try and hold myself together to speak kind words about him when all I wanted to do was break down and hold like I did that night. 

  "Amber, earth to Amber. You there?" My friend Sarah asked through the Skype call.

"Yeah, sorry I kinda....you know." I try to explain to my best friend, though she already knew. It may have been 2 weeks since his death and 1 week since his funeral, but I was still having flashbacks. 

"Have you...you know recently?" Sarah asked hesitantly, she was one of the few who knew about my...problems. 

 "Would I be brutally murdered if I sad yes?"

"Show me."  With that I took off the sweater that was hiding the viable, deep, red slices up and down my right arm.

"There's more...but they're on my legs..." I said in defeat, I knew I could trust her, but I wasn't sure about anyone knowing about how bad of shape I was in since that day.  I had always had problems with depression, but lately they'd gotten worse.

"Amber Rose, those are worse then they've ever been...You blame yourself for his death don't you." She said, noticing my face.

"Is it obvious?"

"To me, what happened that night? I thought things were going good between you two." Sarah pointed out, and it was true, we'd been good. Less fighting..until that night.

"We got into a fight...a bad one. And that's all I'm going to say for right now. I gotta go Sarah, I love you." And with that I closed my laptop ending the call. 

I stared into the darkness that was my room, tears threatening to fall...I curled up in one of his shirts bawling out how I felt. 

             "I loved you...why?" I whispered into the darkness, before crying myself to sleep.

                

                                    ~Damien~

I sat next to her curled up body on her bed, stroking her hair as she wept. I knew she didn't know I was there, but I still tried to comfort her...it was my fault she was like this.  Softly I whispered in her ear, even though she couldn't hear me.

          "I'll never stop loving you."