The New Stylist A BTS fanfiction

I'm fine, but I'm actually not

Great. We were leaving for Japan tomorrow. Stress and worry built up inside me, what do i pack? What do I wear? What about Kyung? will she manage on her own? I think I'll be gone for 3 days, I have to tell her soon. I moaned and shoved my face into a cushion. I've never been to Japan, so it'll be a experience, but I don't know if i'll be mentally ok, I mean there will be fans. Is there a phobia of fans? I probably have it now. Our flight tomorrow is at 9pm and I think the company wil pick me up around 5 or 6 so I have to be totally ready. I have to go to work tomorrow to finalise everything so i'll start packing when Kyung gets home. No biggie.

"Yoo unnie~~" Kyung shouts opening the door and kicking her boots off. She lifts up her sunglasses and was surprised she didn't see a lazy Mi-cha on the sofa. "Unnie?" she says as she looks around downstairs. She hears rummaging and cursing upstairs so she bolts upstairs. "Unnie?" she says opening the door to their room to reveal clothes scattered everywhere, a suitcase on a bed and a very frustrated Mi-cha.

"Yo unnie what are you doing?" I hear Kyung say as she comes in. "Mi-cha I have nothing to wear" I say absolutely fed up "then whats all this?" Kyung laughs as she motions her hand to show all the clothes scattered everywhere. "Oh shut up" I say as I throw a dress at her. "Hehe unnie, but why are you packing? comapny taking you somewhere?" Kyung asks, catching the piece of clothing and folding it nicely. "Yeah they've been invited to shoot a ad in Japan yay" I say unamused. "Wow unnie thats so exciting! How long will you be gone for?" Kyung says sitting down on a pile of clothes. "Hm maybe 3 days? I'm worried about you though" I say worridly. "Aw unnie you don't have to worry about me, uh unnie?" I turn my head to her since I realise the serious tone in her voice.

"Unnie can I stay with Minsung then?"

I nearly choked at her words

"What?"

"Unnie I think i'm going to confess, we've been talking alot lately and I really think he likes me so.."

I was absolutely speechless, i wanted to say no but i'm not her parent and I shouldn't be stopping her from doing these things.

"Do what you want, but don't try anything" I sigh

Kyung squeals and jumps up "thank you unnie!" she says squeezing me tight.

"Ok great, now can you help me pack?"

Kyung nodds joyfull and we spend the rest of the night choosing cute outfits, organising makeup and hygiene and basically just having a bestfriend moment.

The next morning came and my luggage was neatly placed near the door, I don't need it now and I had my airport outfit all planned out so I just went to work in jeans and a oversize hoodie. I set out pretty early so the streets were nearly empty, it was calm, peaceful and silent just the way I like it. Usually I would be jumping across the streets but I wasn't jumpy anymore. Just a quiet, shy girl whose scared of the slightest pain. My scars have gone really faint and they didn't hurt as much anymore, but I will always be mentally in pain and i'll always be mentally scarred. Usually when i was by myself and I had a chance to think, bad memories and negative thoughts would flood my mind and I would always end up crying. No need to worry about my makeup anymore since I wore light now. How does one go from fun, chirpy and strong to scarred, fragile and weak?

I wanted to slap myself, hurt myself, scream at myself: "Mi-Cha why are you so weak?" I was scared of pain but at the same time it seemed like my happiness as well. What's happening? I thought these things to myself, i mentally fought and hurt myself as I passed the growing crowd as the morning grew on. I still went through the same alley everyday and sometimes I would stop at that exact same spot. The memories gushed through me like a huge tsunami and I would fall right there and scream. Other times I would walk past it without glancing at it once, but still I felt a cold tear roll down my cheek. After my thought train came to a halt, I found myself standing in front of the BigHit office, taking a deep breath to clam myself and clear my head I walked in ready to start the day.

"V is your drama shooting going well?"

"Yes, but because of the sun i've become slightly tanned"

"Yes I can see, don't worry the makeup will work on it"

"Yes sir thank you"

As I walked I heard the conversation going on in the recording room and a tired looking V came out. "Morning V-shi" I say flashing my fake smile, but instead of getting anything back once again i'm grabbed by the wrist and taken somewhere. "V can we please not" I sigh having enough of him. "No Mi-cha i'm not going to do anything to you, it just.." he stops midway and eyes me very carefully. "Lately i've been getting a negative feeling, are you ok? Is everything ok at home?" he asks with absolute worry in his misty eyes. I blink my eyes a few times astonished by his words. He doesn't know anything right? "Ah V what are you saying? Of course i'm ok" I say smiling once more. "Your smile..seems very fake." My heart stops beating for a split second and my smile disappears instantly. "Trust me V i'm fine, thank you for worrying about me though" I blush looking down and rubbing my arm. Suddenly I feel a warm pair of arms wrapped tightly around me, I look up in shock. "Mi-cha is anything is wrong please, please don't be afraid to talk to me, i'm here for you" he says stepping back and smiling as brightly as i could. I felt the tears ready to fall, but were blocked by a thin layer of guilt. He placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed my forehead gently. With another smile he began to walk off and I stood there helpless. I stood there thnking about what just happened, his embrace felt so warm and loving I would never leave if I had the chance. The more I thought, the thinner and weaker my layer got and soon it broke and I fell to thr floor crying my heart out, not thinking about anything.