ALIVE → bts fanfiction

Chapter 18

Jimin's P.O.V

"Aera," I whispered.

It was all a complete mess. Everything was getting out of control. I couldn't do anything about my emotions, I couldn't hide anything anymore. It was rapidly becoming dangerous for her. I couldn't let that happen. Reluctantly, I pulled away from our hug. Aera and I silently made eye contact. I knew she was scared. I knew she was confused. But I couldn't do anything about it.

"Who--who is he?" She asked quietly, glancing down the path he'd gone.

I sighed and lowered my eyes.

"He's...someone you should stay away from," I offered.

"Yeah, I kind of gathered that," she replied shakily. "But what were you talking about? What was he warning you about? What conditions? I--I don't understand. Jimin, what's going on?"

I was quiet. There was no way for me to explain. No way she'd understand.

"Jimin, please."

I turned my whole body away from her, looking at the dark park.

"I can't tell you, Aera." My voice cracked again, making me grimace. "I can't."

"Why not?!" She was suddenly louder. "You looked like you were going to murder each other! He was going to hurt you! I was...I was scared, Jimin. You can't give me that excuse every time. You're my friend."

I winced as Aera finished her statement quietly. I wanted to hug her again, I wanted to explain everything. I wanted to tell her that I wasn't like her. That everything would be fine either way. I wanted her to understand and forgive me for being so secretive. But instead, I grew colder and shut her out.

"You should go home," I said in a low voice.

"W--what?" Aera whispered.

"You need to go," I repeated.

"Jimin..." Her voice cracked this time, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Aera. leave," I snapped.

"Jimin."

I didn't respond again. I stayed absolutely still and absolutely silent. I couldn't see her, but I knew she was still standing behind me, looking at me with a hurt expression. After a few moments, I finally heard the light crunch of rocks under her feet as she started to walk back to her house. She walked away slowly, then sped up. And as the footsteps faded away, I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

Because she would never know what I was. Because she would never know how I felt.

••••••

Aera's P.O.V

I laid in bed, listening to my dad quietly knocking on the door. I knew I didn't have long until he walked into my room, annoyed, to shake me awake for school. But I didn't care. I just wanted to stay in my silent, boring room. Where nothing happened, where no one complicated my life. Where everything made sense.

"Aera, what are you doing? Now you'll be late!" Dad hissed, peaking into my room.

But I couldn't stay here. As much as I wanted to.

"I'm up, Dad. Calm down."

I slowly got up and changed, brushing my teeth with a sigh, and grabbing my bag. Dad was peaking out the front door window as I headed down the hallway.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

He jumped a bit and turned to me, looking confused.

"Namjoon's not here yet." He frowned, heading towards the kitchen. "He probably went without you, considering how slow you're being."

But I wasn't listening to him. I hurried over to the window he had been looking at and glanced outside myself. He was right. The street looked empty, almost deserted, in the cold early morning. No one stood outside by my front steps, waiting. I wheeled around to look at the living room clock. Namjoon should have arrived ten minutes earlier. And he was never later than five minutes. I gulped and began chewing on my lips.

"What are you standing there for? You've gotta get a move on. School starts in less than ten minutes," my dad called from the kitchen doorway.

"Y-yeah, Dad. I know." I started back to the door. "I'm going."

I stepped outside into the chilly air, stomach growling. But there was no time for breakfast. I gave the street another once over, searching for Namjoon. But he was nowhere to be seen. It was the first time, other than the day I'd started, that Namjoon had gone to school without me. And I knew as I walked alone, that I'd hurt Namjoon. I just didn't know how badly.

••••••

It was lonely, walking down the school halls. Despite all the kids around me, and the loud noises they all made. I glanced around every now and then, searching for a familiar face, but it seemed like all of my friends had disappeared. I was so used to being bombarded as soon as I stepped into the school, to suddenly be standing beside one of the goofballs, to one of them babbling loudly in my ear. But they were no where. And it made me sad.

I went to all of my morning classes by myself, feeling cold and depressed. Lonely. It wasn't until lunch that I spotted one of them.

"Taehyung!" I called as soon as I laid eyes on the brunette.

He was walking through the cafeteria entrance, only a few feet in front of me. As soon as I spoke he wheeled around, surprised. He smiled as he saw me. But I knew something was up. It wasn't his real smile.

"Hi, Aera," he said as I approached.

"Hello." I watched him suspiciously. "So, did you guys end up making it to dinner yesterday?"

"Yeah, we did. It's too bad you and Jimin missed it," Taehyung replied stiffly.

"Did..." I chewed my lips for a second, hesitating. "How was Namjoon when you got there?"

He gave me a strange look after my question.

"I--I don't know, really..." He blubbered.

"Taehyung...?" I said, frowning.

"You know, I should go...my hyungs are probably waiting for me." He turned around.

"But I--hold on a minute!" I called after him.

But Taehyung was already rushing away. What the heck? Had Namjoon told them to avoid me or something? That seemed a bit harsh to me. I sighed and continued into the cafeteria after him. I got my lunch and looked around, my eyes landing on our usual table. I knew by the way Taehyung had been acting, and how they huddled close together, that I wasn't welcome for the time being. With another frown, I walked sadly over to a mostly empty table. My food seemed tasteless and gray, but I forced myself to eat anyway, knowing I was hungry. I sat with my shoulders slumped forward, in a pitiful state.

I suddenly found myself wishing that Jimin were there. I had known after our experience the night before, that he would definitely not be going to school that day. That I wouldn't see him for a while. I sighed again. It seemed things were returning to the way it had been before I moved.