6_kg / ²jae (discont.)

4

Days passed.
The days turned into weeks, the weeks into months.

Things were getting worse.

-

Youngjae wouldn't have minded that the others were side-eyeing him more often than not.
It's just that they made it so painfully obvious that it was annoying and irritating, and it made Youngjae feel worse than he already felt.

It was like they pitied him.

The brunette felt himself shrinking into his shell more and more; locking himself from the outside world.

He still laughed of course, he was the so-proclaimed 'sunshine' of the group; he can't become anymore useless by not playing his part.

But that was only in public.

At the dorms, the male would stay outside the dorm, sit on the steps and endlessly stare at nothing for hours; maybe think about having a smoke or two.
He would not even bother to check his social media, it was probably filled with comments about his "flabby stomach ㅋㅋㅋ"

Maybe he should stop taking snacks outside, huh.

-

Youngjae sighed.
The day was humid and the sky was grey as droplets of water fell endlessly from above.

Like the days before, the brunette sat at the bottom of the steps watching as wisps of smoke came out of his mouth.
Smoking had been something he'd been against when he was younger, but with his deflating mood and "depressed" state; he decided to give it a try.
At first he had coughed his lungs out; the smoke didnt sit well with him. But after persisting, he found himself addicted.
The nicotine calmed his nerves and the cigarette robbed him of his hunger.

"Youngjae-ah!"
The male snapped his head to look up the steps, seeing a familiar mop of now-black hair and two moles above the persons eye.
Oh.
It's just-
"Jaebum-hyung!"
Youngjae quickly flicked his cigarette onto the ground, stomping the flame out.

"How are you Youngjae? It's been a while."

The brunette mentally rolled his eyes; he knew how this conversation was going to go.
"Good, I guess."

"Yeah? The group hasn't seen you in a while and were about to play some games, wanna come back up?"

There was a light tone in the olders voice, but there was also a tinge of forcefulness behind it; telling Youngjae he wouldn't take no as an answer.

The younger shrugged as he looked at the rain, the droplets making a continuous dripping sound as they hit the ground.
"I'm fine. Just go up without me."

"You're not fine Youngjae."

The brunette rolled his eyes, he was now finished with this conversation.

"How do you know hyung ? Last time I checked, your name isn't Choi Youngjae."

drip

Jaebum snorted, "Yeah my name isn't Choi Youngjae; I'm not a coward who hides behind his emotions."

drip

"A coward hyung? Funny, you should be the one to lead his members, not crush their self confidence" Youngjae retorted, his knuckles becoming white.

drip

Jaebum's jaw clenched.
"Crushing their self confidence? That was a joke. Do you know what you really are Youngjae?"

drip drip

"You're an a good for nothing kid who only got in because his vocals were decent. You're a real pig Youngjae, you know that right? The group would be so much better without your crippling anixety and dragging emotions."

drop

"I know Jaebum, I know, do you think I don't know?" Youngjae's vision became increasingly more and more blurry and soon his cheeks were hot with his tears as took a few steps away from the elder.

The younger collapsed on the ground, scrapping his knees and hurting his hands.
He ignored it though.
He just shriveled up into a fetal position.
And he cried and cried and said "sorry" over and over again like it was the only word he knew.

And Jaebum?
He went back upstairs and kept a fake smile on his face.

"Where's Youngjae hyung?"

"He's busy."

-
hi this sucks and im bored so yeah lol!!!!!! im really bored as you van tell how bad this is
bye!
also if u made a drip drop taemin refrence get ready to die
if youre expecting regular updates you are soooooooo wrongggggomg