The mistake

The White Coat People and a Visitor?

Looking up i see the people dressed in their white coats that i see on a regular basis enter my room. "how are you today Emily?" The lady asks as if i would feel any different then i have any other day.I will always feel the same i don't ever see the day that i will feel any less useless in this world, so why waste time on me? I don't know...i give them the same answers every time.Yes.No.That seems to be my only vocabulary I want to speak lately. Coughing the lady recalls my attention, "As I was asking how do u feel today?" I just shrug doesn't matter what I say they will never understand what i went through.She starts to speak again saying "I'm gonna give you your medicine and you must take them with your glass of water they keep your mind clear" Clear? what did she mean by clear? I never thought to question what they give me in this god forsaken place.They place the medicine down on the boring,plain old dresser just like everything else in this place and walk away.I just stare at the pills thinking maybe if i stare hard enough they would go away...maybe if i stared at my horiffic face in the mirror i would vanish just as i wanted those pills to.Getting up, i go towards the mirror staring at myself wondering when will this feeling of disappointment and shame would go away.Never i guess,staring at my cloth covered arms i slowly start to lift them up wincing at the pain a little as the sweater touches my fresh cuts.

Sighing i look at the deep gashes i put there,why did i do this? I ask myself that all the time but to no avail, i fail every time to give a better answer. To make me feel numb...to forget. Surprising enough the white coats never see this, in fact they never thought to question it they just assumed i wouldn't. That's what is wrong with this society, they expect you to do and be a certain way but in reality how are we ourselves? How can we be unique? I will never be good enough for this world and well, I begin to whisper. My family i will never be good in their eyes.I squeeze my eyes shut trying to force back the tears but to my dismay some escape, softly cascading down my cheek. Standing there crying i run away from the mirror heading to my razor when there was a knock on the door.

I stop and turned towards the window so they wouldn't see my tears and try to calm my breathing. One of the White Coats entered my room. "Emily you have a visitor" i stared wide eyed at the window. Me? A vistitor? But who would want to see me?

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What do you guys think?

comment / like/ suggestions?

who do you think came to visit Emily?

tune in for moreeeeeeeeee :)