"James!" I shouted over the roar of the fire. The heat licked at my exposed skin, searing it in some places. I had to find James. "James! Where are you!" I couldn't breathe; the smoke clogged my lungs with its inky blackness. The flames did nothing to help me see. If anything, it made it harder. "JAMES!' I screamed with all my might using whatever air I had left. Tears started to well in my eyes making them sting even more. "James?" the last part barely a whisper as I felt myself fall to the dirty ground.
I know what you're thinking. That someone is going to see the fire and call 9-1-1, and everyone lives. It's not that kind of story. No one lives through this tragic event. Not even me. But in a weird sense I don't die either, well I do but not entirely any ways. But James, he's never coming back. That I know for a fact because before I "died", I saw his little body curled up on the floor looking at me with blank eyes. I'll never get to see his face light up with joy or go red with anger or embarrassment. And all because someone decided to burn a house down for fun. Of all the abandoned houses on Laker St. why did it have to be mine? I wanted to scream it to their faces, but they won't be found by the police.
My life has never been the same after that day. My little bundle of joy was gone and he'd taken my happiness with him. I didn't mind the dull ache in my chest where my heart was, or used to be for that matter. I could feel no pain, no love, or joy. All that was left was sorrow and loneliness. I was stuck in between reality and darkness, on the edge of insanity, ready to take the plunge. Could I make it all end with a single step? Would it be over then? I could only wish. I used to think that all the time. The urges were never far from my mind. Until I met the one person who would change everything, the one person who would save my life. Who made me love again. My story is of pain and anguish, but also of new found love and finding my place in the game of fate.
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It was dark when I finely pried my eyes open. The smell of burnt flesh still hanging heavy in the air. I tried to sit up, but my body was limp and unmoving. Not even a twitch of my fingers. Was I dead? Was I in hell? Why can't I move? My throat was dry and my tongue was like sand paper. Will I be stuck watching the sky for the rest of eternity? But oddly enough, I was ok with that. Closing my eyes once more I accepted my fate and gave into the darkness willingly.
I regretted it instantly. The memory of the fire replayed itself, forcing me to watch him stare at me with his blank eyes as his flesh starts to melt off of his beautiful face, leaving nothing but charred remains and a smell I will never be able to forget. Make it stop. Please, MAKE IT STOP! Tears started to fall down my cheeks as I lay motionless still unable to move or even sob. They fell freely until I had no tears left to shed. I made myself a vow then and there. I vow to never love another the way I loved James. I vow to kill the people who did this. Opening my eyes I looked at the sky willing my prayers to reach whoever was up there. Please, grant me my wish of vengeance.
Almost instantly I felt a tingle in the center of my chest. It spread out to my arms, neck, and stomach. The more it spread the more the tingling intensified. When the feeling reached my feet it felt like fire was coursing through my veins. Soon the feeling subsided until it was gone completely. Your wish has been granted, my child. The voice was like sweet honey pouring over my senses. I looked around as far as my eyes could see but no one was there. Who was the mysterious voice? Was it male or female? Where they young or old? I feared I would never know. I will always come to you. All you must do is call on me. As quick as the voice came it went. How do I call the voice? Was I finally going crazy? Suddenly I felt my limbs slowly unstiffen and relax. Can I move?! I willed my arm to reach the sky, but nothing happened. Again I tried. And again I failed. It felt like hours had passed and I was still unable to move my arm. One more time, I told myself. Just one more time. I put every ounce of strength I had left in my frail and broken body into moving my arm, if not but an inch.
Slowly my arm crawled toward the sky. I could hear my bones creaking and grinding along with my flesh crackling. Soon my hand was open and stretched to the clouds. It felt right, facing the sky. It was clear and blue but heavy with billowing clouds. I could see a few birds flying past without a care in the world. Somehow my ears picked up the breaking of twigs nearby. Unlike the time it took to raise my hand, it was down and lying beside me in a flash. I could pick up the hint of voices coming in and out. "....search......survivors..." the footsteps got closer and closer until they stopped. The voices clear as the sky. "ugh god what happened to it?" I heard something thump and the owner of the first voice fell silent. "I think it's a boy but I'm not sure?" the second voice brought calm over me, making me feel safe and secure. Something was touching me, but I resisted the urge to look. "He's alive help me carry him to the car!" his voice was so frantic and oozing with concern. I was being lifted from the ground trying hard not to open my eyes. "He's so light. He can't be older than ten or eleven." The walk was short and I was being put inot what I assumed was a car. The seats stuck to my charred flesh ripping away in some places. "Jesus! The kids ripping apart" the first voice cried. "Just hurry and get him in the car damn it!" when they closed the doors I allowed myself to open my eyes and look around. They laid me down facing the roof of the car so I couldn't see anything. I guess I would just have to wait. Closing my eyes I listened to everything That was being said.
"Can you believe it he's alive!" I'm calling him number two, I thought. "We need to take him to a hospital, Jake." Number one said. "We can take him to my house first; I need to check him out before we do anything, Tom." Jake, his name was Jake. "If you say so" Tom said. The rest of the drive was spent in silence, neither saying a word. The car came to a stop seemingly hours later as they got out and, as carefully as they could, carried me out of the car. Once again I had to fight to keep my eyes closed. I feel their arms under me, as chips of my flesh fell as they walked inside a cold building. I felt like a snake shedding its old skin to reveal the glorious shining layer underneath.
I heard a door being opened and Jack say "We can lay him in here". Then a cool surface met my back and legs. "What are you going to do with him?" Tom asked. "I'm just going to run standard tests to confirm his sex, age, height, weight, stuff like that." It was quite after that, nothing was moving, or making even the slightest sound. Opening my eyes I met dark brown ones that widened with shock, but he didn't move. Just stayed there staring at me. It felt like he was looking into my soul seeing my sorrow and pain, so I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, if I could do that anymore. I had to try.
