Monolouge Of An Screwed Up Teen.

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I think I have gone mad, I'm happy, angry, sad and confused at the same time and my brain doesn't know what's going on, which one do I like?
I think I will be gone instead of companionship I will stay single, I'm lying once again. To myself and others.
I like them both but only one likes me and I don't like that one nearly as much as the one that doesn't or maybe I do and my mind just hasn't solved the problem so my head is all flustered. I don't even care if these words rhyme, its as if they don't even need to.
So now that I'm writing this thing that I'm not sure is a poem or a confession but maybe its both. How can I like a girl I have only met once? How can I like a girl that's basically my best friend I have known for what seems like forever? I hate this situation and its infested my imagination. No one will ever read this but me so why should I bother thinking or writing this?
Do I write because of my feelings or do I write because some day I want to look back at all my writings and wallow in my own self pity? Its both I guess. In a way this is helping me and killing me inside. If I had a bridge I would jump off so I am gonna leave it at this note before I start crying.