Band Oneshots

Couch Guy (Mark Hoppus)

A/N: Written for the amazing amyann49 who really liked Couch Guy from Man Overboard. This oneshot will probably seem kind of weird if you haven't read that story already, but there's no overlap between the two stories, other than the same strange nickname for the same talented bass player. Enjoy!

This was not what Amy had been expecting to see after having just woken up on a Sunday morning. What was someone supposed to do in a situation like this? Call the police? She glanced around the apartment, checking for signs of a break-in. There weren't any. That didn't really surprise her though, no more than the random guy sleeping on her couch did.

Well actually, it was her brother's couch. And this guy was definitely not her brother. The guy on the couch was white for one thing, and snoring, which Amy had never known Alex to do. And...he was kind of cute.

Couch Guy's brown hair was a curly mess, smashed up against a pillow. A blanket was covering his legs and lower back as he slept on his stomach, but the rest of it was starting to fall to the floor. Couch Guy's mouth was open, which must have been contributing to the snoring, and there was a wet spot on the pillow from drool. Which normally Amy would've found a little gross, but he just looked so peaceful, so innocent. As if he actually was supposed to be sleeping on that couch, like he belonged there.

And just like that Amy was no longer checking out the guy on the couch and was back to wondering just exactly who he was or what he was doing here. She figured the most logical thing to do would be to confront Alex about the strange man sleeping in his apartment. But as she started to leave the living room to head to her brother's bedroom, she stubbed her toe against the coffee table.

"Ow!" she yelped, from both surprise and pain. Amy covered her mouth with her hand, but it was too late. Couch Guy had woken up and he was staring at Amy, looking confused and slightly groggy.

"What the fuck?" Couch Guy muttered to himself before meeting Amy's eyes. "Are you Alex's girlfriend?"

"Ew," Amy made a face, a mixture of disgust and disbelief. "Gross. No."

Couch Guy rubbed a hand against the side of his face as he sat up, as if clearing the sleep from only one of his eyes and wiping away his drool in one motion. "Oh, sorry," he apologized.

Amy smiled and held back a laugh at the random stranger apologizing for assuming she was dating her brother, when he should have other priorities, like finding out who she actually was. Amy wasn't as concerned as she had been when she first saw Couch Guy, since it was clear he knew Alex. But she didn't understand why Alex hadn't told her about Couch Guy crashing at his place...unless Alex didn't know.

"Does Alex know you're here?" she asked, the question blurting out. She really hoped he wasn't some sort of stalker that had broken into the apartment just to get closer to her brother. Amy took a slight step backwards, away from the couch.

Couch Guy squinted his eyes at her, looking even more confused now. "What? Yeah, of course he does. Does he know you're here?"

"Well I'm his sister so I would certainly hope so," Amy replied with a smile.

"Oh shit." Couch Guy's eyes widened with realization, the man suddenly becoming more alert as he stood up from the couch. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Amy laughed lightly.

Couch Guy shrugged. "I don't know... You obviously didn't know I was sleeping here. So I'm sorry if I...scared you?"

He sounded exactly like every other guy that apologized without knowing what they were supposed to be apologizing for. It was kind of amusing.