Converse

Emily:

I tap the end of my cigarette on the edge of my converse, resting my head in my hands, closing my eyes and letting my music drift me away from the wall I was sitting on. I brush some of my blonde hair from my face, twisting my other hand round one of the black streaks running through it, yawning widely. I sigh loudly and look up at the clouds, boiling and fighting above me in the grey light. I like it like this. I fiddle absentmindedly with some tears in my black skinnies as I stare around the streets and the people.

You would say it was depressing.

But I always liked it here.

In the deepest of deep shit. I kind of find it beautiful. Just because its real. And that’s why I come here everyday just to think. I brush my hands lightly over the cuts on my left arm liking the sensitivity of the scars. The memories.

Eventually I stand up and flick out my cigarette, pulling my black ipod out of my pocket and turning the music up. Placebo. I smile and walk down the streets, turning swiftly into a side corner shop, jumping at the tiny bell ringing in the distance. I grab some milk and watch my feet slowly pressing against the tiles as I slip the money across the counter into the assistants hand. I look up and smile at her, but she just glares back. I sigh and push myself back onto the pavement outside and to the bus stop, pulling my band shirt down, making sure it didn't ride up. I sigh and rest against its graffiti and glass surface, frowning to myself. I turn my head to the glass at the end and raise a hand, drawing a smiley face. A slight smile lights my own face until drips of water run down, blotting its eyes, giving it a kind of crazed look. I sigh and turn back to the road, looking straight ahead.

So bored.

So tired.

So depressed.

I watch as three or four busses rush past, not bothering to stand up each time they stop. I pull my legs up to my chest, sighing deeply and staring down at the floor, shivering in the cold. I watch as people come and go. I soon get out my lighter and start to flick it on and off.

I don't want to go back home.

But eventually I get off my ass and onto the bus, stuffing the lighter back in my pocket with my ipod. I sit right at the back, watching as an old lady shuffles past and almost trips. I hear some people to my left snort, holding back laughter but my frown only deepens. I sigh and stare into the window, looking back at myself. I like my makeup today… its been a long time since I have. It surrounds my blue eyes, making them look almost… electric. Finally it jerks to a halt and I'm thrown back into suburbia. I sigh and stand up, dragging my feet and the shopping bag across the bus floor. I step down and shiver, but liking the tiny burst of life in my veins. I decide to walk down by the river, deciding to take the scenic route.

All it is, is pubs and grand houses, with drunks and snooty people thrown together. And then the murky river, stopped from overflowing by the concrete drop, running alongside the pubs. I sigh slightly and check my phone, swearing loudly at the time. I was meant to be back like two hours ago.

"SHIT!" The word escapes me before I can hold it back and I start to run, pushing past a few early drinkers and women with prams. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm so screwed. I pull out my ear phones and wind them round my ipod as I run fumbling to put it back in my pocket. I lean forwards and race ahead, leaping around people as I go. I watch my feet slamming against the concrete and smile as it seems like I'm running a hundred times faster than I actually am.

I look up and see the exit for my house, turning quickly and almost falling. I race up to the road and continue, pumping my arms faster.

"Morning Emily!" I look up and see Mr Jenkins slowly nodding to me.