I pulled up to the gas station. Grabbing my debit card, I got out and swiped it at the pump. As I filled the tank up with gas, I saw a mother and daughter walking hand-in-hand into the store. The girl was about Amber's age, and I couldn't help the flood of memories that crashed over my mind in waves.
Mom beaming with pride at my fifth birthday when I blew out my candles. Telling me she was proud of me and how big I was getting.
The first day of Kindergarten, not wanting to let go of my mom, afraid to be away from her for so long. However, I forgot about her when a girl came up to me and asked if I wanted to play. Mom leaning down to tell me quietly to be careful with my developing powers.
Mom telling me how smart I was when I taught myself to tie my shoes. I had rushed down the stairs to show her, excited, and knowing she would make me feel pride in myself.
Mom's worried face when I fell off my bike. The worry still evident in her expression as she drove me to the hospital to have my arm put in a cast.
Learning I was going to have a little sister. Mom sitting me down, trying to explain where babies come from without going into too much detail, and telling me she will love me just as much as the new baby. Her happy expression when I got excited to FINALLY be a big sister.
My mom's looks of disapproval when I started dressing in all black, always wearing jeans, and not being the "young lady" she always dreamed I would be. I knew I had disappointed her.
I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the click of the handle indicating my tank was full. I put the nozzle back where it belonged, and tightened the lid back on my tank. I got back into the driver's seat and started the car.
I glanced at Amber, who was still sleeping in the backseat. I knew that when she woke up, she would have questions that I could not answer. But for the moment, I would not disturb her. I turned my attention back to the road. It was dark, the glowing numbers on the dashboard saying it was about nine o'clock.
My radio was still playing in the background. The music was not helping my brain shut off. After desperately trying not to think, I couldn't help but see the images of my mother's dead body. They were constantly running through my brain, causing the tears I was trying so hard to repress to silently stream down my face.
With these images stuck in my head, I began to think about my situation for the first time. I mean, I had thought about it before, but not in depth. I didn't want to think about it too much, because that made it real. I was still stuck in the illusions telling me maybe it had all been a terrible dream. That if I woke up, I would be at home, in my bed, and if I walked down the stairs to the kitchen, mom would be there cooking breakfast. I knew it wasn't true, though. Mom was dead, I was in danger, it was because of my absent father....and me.
As the truth of those words sank in, the entirety of the problem came down on me. It was like, I was seeing everything clearly for the first time, as if a fog had been lifted from my brain. I thought about the fact that someone had killed my mother. That these people were looking for me and they would not stop until they found me. Mom told me to go to Uncle Mark, that he could help. But COULD is not the same as WOULD. Would Uncle Mark help me, knowing that by helping me, he was putting himself at risk? I sure hoped he would. It was at this moment that I truly began to feel afraid, when I really began to fear for Amber and my lives.
I heard movement from the backseat, and a yawn, an indication that Amber was waking up. I wiped the tears from my cheeks before she could see them. Then, I smiled into the rear view mirror to see her looking around the car in confusion.
"Where are we going, Adianna?" she asked me.
I kept the smile on my face as I answered her. "We are going to Uncle Mark's house in New York for a bit." I really hope she doesn't ask--
"Where is mommy?" Damn it.
"Mommy--she had to go away for a while, Sweetie." I said, avoiding telling her the entire truth.
"Where did she go?" Amber asked.
I opened my mouth to tell her the first thing that came to mind, just as long as it wasn't the truth. Then, I decided lying to her would not be the best solution because she would find out the truth sooner or later. I would rather she hear it from me.
I sighed as I thought about how to tell her the horrible news. "Mom got hurt, baby. Do you remember yesterday when we found mommy in her room?" I hoped she didn't.
She thought for a moment. Then, her eyes got huge as she realized what happened. Her bottom lip trembled, and the tears welled up in her eyes. She looked at me in the mirror, and her expression tore my heart into pieces. I have never seen her look so sad. She really cried then. The tears running down her face, and I felt so useless, all because I knew there was nothing I could do to stop her pain. I continued to drive, feeling like shit because I reminded Amber of mom's passing. I made her cry like that. I am the worst big sister on the planet.
Eventually, Amber calmed down, and it got quiet in the car. Maybe she went back to sleep? But when I looked in the rear view mirror to check, she was staring out the window.
"Are you hungry?" I asked, not knowing what else to say to her.
She nodded.
"What do you want to eat?" I asked her.
She thought for a moment. Then she seemed to decide.
"I want chicken nuggets from McDonald's" She said. Of course.
"OK." I said. I continued driving a little bit, looking for a McDonald's. I found one about two miles down the road. I pulled into the parking lot, turned the car off, grabbed my debit card, and got out. I opened Amber's door and she jumped out, the sadness gone from her mind for the moment. We walked into the McDonald's and I ordered her chicken nuggets, two drinks, and a couple cheeseburgers for myself.
We found a table (the place was mostly empty) and sat down to eat. Behind Amber's chair, there was a TV playing the news. I watched the news as I ate my burgers. There was a story about the presidential race. Honestly, I didn't like our chances with either presidential candidate. They both weren't any good.
Then, a breaking news story. The reporter was talking about a couple of runaway kids. I didn't really pay that much attention, until I heard my name. My head snapped up, and Amber looked at me confused. She started to question me, and I shushed her. I had to hear the news story.
"Adianna Vine is an eighteen year old who has reportedly killed her own mother, then kidnapped her five year old sister, Amber Vine. Katherine Vine, the mother of the girls, died from several stab wounds. She was found late this afternoon, lying in her bed, by a friend of the family. Adianna Vine is described as a medium sized blonde, green eyes, and highly dangerous. If you have any leads on the missing girls, please call the hotline below." The reporter woman then went on to the weather.
"Amber, get your nuggets, and lets go. Now." I stood up, grabbing the food, and all our belongings. We got out of that restaurant as fast as we could. I put Amber in her seat, and I got back in the driver's seat. I started the car and nearly sped out of the parking lot.
As soon as we were far enough away, I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Amber was in the backseat, oblivious to the fact the whole world would be looking for us. We were on the news, and I was portrayed as a crazed psychopath who killed her own mother, then kidnapped her sister. Could this night get any worse?
